Hello everyone,
I hope this is a long time from now, but my dad is in his 60s now and even tho he’s very healthy and active, I can’t stop thinking about the time when he gets too old to take care of himself and I’m going to have to step in. He took care of my grandma untill she past away at the age of 95 and I’m thinking I will too, if I’m lucky enough to have him for that long.
Is anybody on the same boat? Are you looking forward to it? Do you dread it?
If you’re already doing it, hows it going? Any advice?
Thanks for reading
3 comments
I’m dreading it because I live 5000km away, also have step parents, and have no siblings that can step in when things get bad. I don’t plan on having kids which means that them moving to me won’t happen either.
I really don’t know what I’ll do when that time comes.
My parents sold their house and moved into my house with my me, my wife and our now 6 month old. This was not what was planned, but my formerly active and healthy mom got diagnosed with a neurological disease (🖕MSA) at 59 years old and we had to act.
My dad does most of the heavy lifting, but I have to step in as he is not in the best of shape. I’m not going to sugar coat it, it gets very stressful, tedious, exhausting, etc…especially because she was strongly independent and now can’t do much on her own.
It’s been emotional, seeing her wither away to basically an unrecognizable person has been surreal. Lots of pros, she gets to be around her granddaughter everyday. She can’t hold her by herself, but she gets to smile and talk to her, which is cool. I get to sit and hang out with my parents after work. We talk about when I was a kid, hometown stuff, etc…it’s definitely not all bad.
My advice: starting now, take pictures and videos of your parents. Get them to write you letters, notes, create voice notes, whatever. Create memories that you can look back at and cherish and remember. The sad truth for me is that I am noticing I’m forgetting what my moms old voice sounded like and I beat myself up for it.
I’m sorry I had a negative sounding response, I truly hope that yours will be far far away. It’s an emotional time that has highs and lows. Prepare for the small things in case something bad happens. It happened to me.
I’m doing it X3 now – my mom and both inlaws. We moved back to their town 12 years ago when my dad was suffering from Parkinson’s Disease. He passed 5 years ago.
The other 3 are all in their 80s. They’re in relatively good health, but the inlaws’ health has declined considerably in the past 6 months. So relatively speaking we’ve had it pretty easy so far, but that can change in the blink of an eye.
I had to call 911 for my mom in 2020 and she ended up spending a week in ICU. Twice I thought she was going to die. But remarkably she has fully recovered. But it definitely reinforced how quickly things can change. One misstep and a fall and we’re looking at a very different existence.
We knew what we were looking at when we moved back, but for several years it was pretty easy. We’d kind of like to move back to where we lived (we now have a new grandson there) but feel like we’re committed to see it out. We feel a little trapped and slightly frustrated, but it is what you do.