About a month ago I ( F 28) met a guy (M 31) off a dating app and we started talking everyday for a week before meeting up in person for the first time. The first date went on for hours and we got on really well, so much so that he expressed that he really wanted to see me the next day. I agreed to and we made plans to meet after work. The next day comes along and we text normally during the day but right after I told him I was done with my work, he asked if we could reschedule as he was quite exhausted from a long day. He did specify that he really liked me and that this was in no was him flaking. To which I responded that I had no issues rescheduling.
We text normally during the following days and he suddenly becomes a bit more distant towards the end of the week. Regardless I reach out and he explains that he’s been busy. I asked if he still wanted to meet up for a second date to which he said yes and suggested the Monday. I accepted and asked a follow up question to which he doesn’t reply to three days later up until the day of the date. I’m assuming we’re still meeting that day even though he hasn’t replied nor reached out for three days. But he has gone radio silent on me.
During our first discussions the subject of dating in general came up and he asked me about my exes and people I’ve been seeing before him and I told him about this one guy in particular that I was seeing for a while and that ghosted me right after our first time getting intimate. He got very invested in the story and was asking loads of questions and expressing how awful that must have been for me and that it was unbelievable.
So when he didn’t reply to anything until the day of our rescheduled date, I asked him point blank whether he was ghosting me. 3 hours later still no reply. So I sent him a message telling him how awful he is being to me right now especially after leading me on and being so invested in my story with this previous guy.
He replies after I have gone to sleep and apologizes, telling me that he was not ghosting me at all that he still really wanted to see me and that he was going through a rough patch mentally. I text back apologizing profusely for freaking out and wishing him well through his current struggle because I’m definitely no stranger to issues of anxiety and depression. He says he still wants to see me and to which I reply “me too”. I give him his space for two weeks and I message just to check up on him. He tells me that he’s doing much better and we start chatting again. He wants to meet up that same day but I unfortunately couldn’t so we schedule a date for the next day. Next day comes around and he cancels a few hours before the date with no apology and asks to reschedule for the following day. I initially had something on but my plans fell through so I message him in the morning about it to which he doesn’t reply until the time of the date basically and pretty much says “you can come if you want” I do sense a lack of enthusiasm but I don’t want to start drama again so I go meet him and again we have a great time.
During the date apologizes again and again for how he’s treated for the past two weeks and expresses how much he likes me. He reschedules another date for the following day to which I joke, “are you going to cancel again, because it seems to be a pattern with you and it’s annoying” and he laughs and promises not too. We banter about him being flaky and he keeps promising that that day works for him and that he’s looking forward to seeing me. The day of the date comes along, I text around midday to make sure we were still on for later and he tells me he had a football game that slipped his mind. Again no apology. I genuinely thought he was joking due to our chat the previous time we met so I reply “you do?” Thinking he was going to tell me he was taking the piss. He doesn’t reply to that at all. In the evening I still get no reply from this guy and right there I tell him that we should maybe stop seeing each other. I tell him that I like him but my mental health was also in decline and that anxiety had been flaring up quite a bit lately and that this pattern was starting to mess with me. But that I genuinely enjoyed spending time with him. And that’s where it ended. Was I being too difficult?