I [19F] need to find a happy medium with my boyfriend [20M]

I [19F] have been dating my boyfriend [20M] for a year and a few months. About a year ago a week after I got to college we broke up and I dated and slept around but I found myself back with him because nothing could make me as happy and feel as loved as him. We’ve been going strong ever sense and have created a beautiful relationship. Over the summer he left for his military schools basic training. We were only allowed to communicate through letters and he was 1000 miles away and being treated like shit because of his basic training. We wrote often but I slacked near the end. I was working two hard jobs and taking two classes. I wish I wrote to him more but I did not have the energy to do much of anything. Anyway he has his phone again and we can talk every day but it’s different. He’s still upset about me not writing much near the end and that I’ve been too busy to text or call (it’s my sororities recruitment season so IYKYK). It’s been giving him a lot of anxiety even though I don’t want to be this distant I’m just really busy. On top of that the anxieties from this time last year are being non stop brought up. A small example that sort of explains is I got an espresso machine earlier and I was very excited and was setting it up on call and my sisters on my hall were coming in and out of my room checking it out. He was upset I wasn’t giving him my undevided attention and he got upset(he would not admit that though)even though we had a long private convo before and after. I understand his anxiety is really hard and BT made it worse but it makes me feel awful for going out and being distracted with things in my life. He says I don’t care when I care so unbelievably much. I just want to know where or how I can find a happy medium for his anxiety and for me being able to live my undeniably hectic life. I wish I could just not go out all and only focus on him but that’s not fair on me but neither is him being cold. is there anyway to go about this. I’ve tried explaining but he always says it’s his anxiety. Which I understand and I’m proud of him for being open with me. But it doesn’t seem fair aghhhhhh. I love him so very much and I truly believe he’s the person for me but I don’t know what to do. How can I find the happy medium for the both of us? Sorry for long post.

TL;DR! My boyfriend’s anxiety and my hectic life are clashing. I need to figure out someone to find a happy medium so his anxiety is at ease and I still get to do the stuff I have/want to do.