When I’m around other people, I feel almost under pressure, like I can only think at 50%. I can’t act true to myself because I’m not my true self.
I know and can guarantee I’m good socially, because of my work and general socializing, but my social skills aren’t really the problem, it’s that I don’t feel safe or relaxed enough to fully enjoy talking with other people. It’s like a tunnel vision but for my thinking.
I’ve noticed, especially recently, that I’ve stopped noticing or maybe caring about the little things about people, like haircuts, jewelry, et cetera. Nowadays, all I notice is their bodily language, mannerisms, what makes them tick, and other things along that line.
How can I fix this pressure or perceptual tunnel vision that kills my relaxation and enjoyment of social situations?
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TL;DR: Being in social situations, I can’t act to my full abilities in really any sense. It feels like a pressure that limits my senses and thinking, even though I know I’m socially skilled.
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Edit: In a few days I’m going back to school after travelling. I’m going to attempt to fix it in some way. Hopefully being fully aware is enough.
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3 comments
Others will probably come in and give you great advice on how to overcome what you perceive as a mental block, but I’m going to preemptively go against the grain and say that it’s okay to be a little guarded or reserved in social situations! In fact, it’s probably a mistake to think that who you are in a social setting isn’t really who you are — that’s part of who you are too! Embrace that reserved, observant side of you, and you might actually manage to find some enjoyment in it.
Also, don’t forget to be empathetic, even in your head. Find some shared ground in those mannerisms that you’re observing. For example: “Hey, that guy tends to scratch his face when he’s nervous! It’s so cool that I noticed that. I kinda have some physical habits like that too, don’t I?”
From the feel of things I kinda see hesitations are your problem. And your mental grounding as to what you are as a person is being forgotten at social moments. And it comes up when you are alone. Stick close with your childhood memories and friends. Invite them to a friendly conversation in a setting you are comfortable with. I think you should make up your mind about acceptances and take charge of your social life. For the positive.
Omg i thougt. I was only one in world to have this problem.. tnx for asking