I (27 M) have not had any successful dates in approximately 14 months. Some context: I have been sober pretty much that same amount of time. I moved to the city I live in now in February of this year. The last person I was intimate with was a friend who was in town before I moved and we pretty much just hooked up a couple times and parted ways. I used to meet all of my partners in bars, through school or work. I have had several relationships each lasting 1-2 years. I have had lots of very attractive gfs over the years and I’m not concerned my physical appearance has a whole lot to do with it. My confidence.. perhaps.
Since moving here I have had a few hinge dates and they all sort of fizzled. I’ve met several girls through just random interactions and nothing happened. Either I wasn’t feeling it or she wasn’t. My jobs now are not great for meeting people as I work with folks much older than me and/or men. I have also had a hard time making friends in general so there isn’t a great pool of people for me to draw on in that regard.
What should I do?? I am content with myself but I really enjoy having a partner and especially now I’m sober physical intimacy sounds like an awesome pleasure i can still enjoy. No, I will not consider drinking but for dates or whatever. I need to meet people and potential dates! I am rather shy to ask girls out as well because I always feel like people are bothered by me. I imagine people are going to say hobbies.. I’m all ears on suggestions for social hobbies.
Thanks.. rant over.
2 comments
It’s not anyone’s job to spoon feed you what hobbies to take up. It’s your social life, you put the effort in.
Sports, the Arts, outdoors, adventure…
Try stuff and figure it out.
Well all of your solo hobbies you’ve listed are solo through your choice.
There are hiking groups, cooking courses, life painting sessions, adult education courses, etc.
Basically, if you’re bad at socialising then joining a class or a social group that already exists is a great way to meet people without alcohol who share your interest/hobby.
If you’re living in or near a city there are usually sober living events. These broadly fall into events for former heavy drinkers or for clean living health oriented people.
There’s always speed dating events if you want to cut to the chase, dating apps, etc.