I live in a small college town and it’s been really hard for me to meet people either my age or at least in my stage of life. I’m a full time college student going back to school to become a teacher. I am a full time single dad of a 12 year old. I don’t have much of a social life between school and my kid but I do want to branch out more. What makes it difficult is I am not really comfortable staying out late, nor having guests over while my kid is home and I don’t have regular childcare for her. Maybe once or twice a month I can get her to my folks house which is like an hour and a half away. Anyway this is more for a profile review and less about a deep dive into many of my weird flaws and quirks with dating. Here’s the link
Edit: https://imgur.com/a/Es12ZYh this second link is the other photos of myself I have in my phone.
Edit#2: https://imgur.com/a/dZf9jIM I just shaved the facial hair. Should I use this photo instead? Or grow it back asap?
Edit #3: https://imgur.com/a/CL0j6r9 These are the changes I made. Is it better?
30 comments
In the interest of being upfront in your profile, what is your current hair situation? One photo with a mostly full head of hair, one that looks mostly bald, and then a bunch with hats on. I’m a man with a receding hairline, so I’m sympathetic, but I think it is better to not hide whatever you currently look like.
You’re my age, I’m also going back to school full time (no kids though). I think your profile is fine, pics are good. You’re not going to be every woman’s cup of tea, but you’re definitely not undateably unattractive.
However, your restrictions are an issue. It’s fine that you have a kid, but maybe it would be wise to wait to get back into dating until you’re able to leave her home alone for an evening. 12 is pretty close assuming she’s not developmentally disabled.
In your second pic, your mustache is completely covering both lips. There aren’t any lips visible. This significantly impacts kissing, and I won’t match with someone if I can’t imagine kissing them.
I would recommend trimming your mustache above your lips and showing that in photos.
The first pic isn’t doing anything for you. The first pic should be a reasonably close (shoulders-up) shot of your face with a natural smile, and nothing obstructing the view (i.e., no hats, sunglasses, masks, etc). The close-up pics you do have are cute! I don’t mean this in a cruel way, but: it’s hard to tell what your current hair situation is. The pictures you have make it seem like you’re bald (between the hatfishing and the one bald pic), but then there’s one where you do have hair, so it looks like you’re bald but insecure about it or trying to manipulate the perception. Personally, I don’t care if a guy is bald, but I don’t like guys that try to hide it in their profile.
You should mention that you have a kid in the basic profile info. The picture with you in a wig doesn’t really do anything for you, plus just a picture with a kid doesn’t mean it’s yours.
I’d also mention that you’re studying to become a teacher! It’s a bit weird to see no job listed, so knowing that it’s because you’re shooting for something would be good.
I think you’re attractive and this is a good profile! Would swipe right.
This is the way. Thank you. In seriousness though I think your profile gets better as it goes. That first pic has got to go
E: that frog suit is nightmare fuel
You’re cute! I would remove the shave head pic cuz it makes you look bald which you’re not (no problem with bald dudes just is a misrepresentation). I agree with the comment about the mustache, I don’t match with guys if it covers their lips after trying you date someone like that. He was inflexible about changing his stache style and every time we kissed I got a mouth full of hair. The smiley face on your kid is a little creepy, was that her costume or just your way to cover her face for privacy. Anyway, you are attractive for sure! Hope this helps.
Also I might want to go on a date with you just to see how a guy with neck tattoos decides to become a teacher. Sounds like an interesting life story there 🙂
You look way older than 37. . . no offense?
I think you are super cute and love your profile – shows you are a great guy with a good sense of humor!! I love the frog pic in your backups!!
I think the short crop haircut and tidy beard is the best look for you!
I think your profile is great and you seem totally dateable! Have fun and good luck out there!
I’m a woman and I’ll be blunt: you look a lot older than 37. Also picture in the wig + caption you added about “felt cute, might delete” seems misogynistic.
I can’t comment on the rest of this because i’m not in the market for man or sheep, but I just wanted to say that sheep looks quality. If a women doesn’t appreciate a man with fine taste in the ovine, it is their loss.
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Noting too tragic here.
Backwards hat and glasses photos do make you look a tad younger. I would include one or the other.
I’m not a fan of the freshly shaved pic. But that’s just my .02
Seems like you have a good sense of humor and the right woman will understand your dedication to school and your child.
Best of luck.
Honestly, you have a solid “good dude” and a really approachable vibe going on here, if you weren’t on the other side of the country I’d swipe right on you.
You got some good advice to tweak your profile, and overall I think it’s pretty good. But as a fellow single parent, I’ll level with you—I think your hurdle here is just life stage. It just takes more time and patience to find someone compatible when you’re an all-in parent. Lots of people see this as a dealbreaker—and it’s not that there’s anything wrong with you, it’s just that lots of people are afraid (of responsibilities, of relationships that don’t sound easy and simple to them, of developing any kind of relationship with someone else’s children, etc). It’s understandable, but it’s also disappointing, and it’s okay to feel disappointed sometimes.
Just try to hang in there, take care of yourself, and choose happiness as much as you can. I think you’re taking a great step by just putting yourself out there. If you’re going to find someone who’s right for you, well, being open to the possibility is the major prerequisite.
Wish you the best!
Definitely prefer you with a beard (although I agree you could clean it up a bit), and I liked the smokey the bear pic, which it seems like you took out. It showed you looking a bit less casually dressed, so I think you should keep it.
As someone who is dating the dad of a 10 and 14 year old, having 1-2 free nights a MONTH and otherwise needing to be home by 9:30 is going to make a relationship nearly impossible. Not to discourage you but… I can’t imagine who is going to sign up for that, unless they have really inappropriate ideas about how early they will be meeting/spending time with your daughter.
what is a “tragic dude profile”?
Sooooo much better clean-shaven 😀
Awe I think yer cute! And you met a famous sheep!?
This is making me wish I was single and in the states 😄
I think you’re cute and have a good profile! My biggest concern would be your availability to date
If I swiped right on you. However, I see that your daughter is old enough to hang out at home alone for a bit, so not too problematic per se!
Thanks for your service!
As a single parent who also tries to date, you’re going to want to figure out at least a monthly evening/weekend night situation for the kid. You’ll want it mostly lined up before you need it (that being in addition to your rents helping out. Like a close friend slumber party?)
My kid has no idea I’m dating but periodically she’ll have a fun slumber party and my friends (with and without kids) are usually more than happy to help.
I don’t see anything wrong with your profile and I think you’re attractive (40s F). But I’ve heard that in some parts of the country tattoos are still some kind of weird social filter and people will judge you for having them. Honestly have no idea why you aren’t getting matches. Maybe check your settings just in case you’ve put your profile on pause?
34F here. You have a really sweet vibe. You look the hottest in the picture with the sheep! I would lead with that- there’s some debate about if a close up face shot vs full body is best to lead with, but I think the smile is most genuine in that photo, plus there’s clearly some eye catching material in there that could spark a convo.
I firmly believe one selfie only, once you get into two or three it feels redundant. The tie die one isn’t a bad photo per se but I feel like the lighting isn’t great and tie die is giving a bit of the dude from Big Lebowski vibes lol.
I might skip the one of you with your daughter, and instead add a comment/blurb when you mention her about what ya’ll like to do together or what makes you a great dad. I think the fact that you’re in school and an educator is really attractive. Definitely keep that information in there and if there’s a way to add an anecdote or something about your passion for this area, that would be great. The blurb about the farmers market is the kind of prompt response that really paints the picture for prospects about the pace of life that you live and what it would be like to date you. Channel that!
Spend a little time on this tiktok page, this woman gives amazing and concise profile reviews that are both fun to watch and super applicable to most profiles. [https://www.tiktok.com/@realmatchmakermaria?lang=en](https://www.tiktok.com/@realmatchmakermaria?lang=en)
Damn. Smokey the bear still looks hot shirtless, after all these years.
You have got to trim the facial hair if you’re going to keep it. No woman wants to ever kiss a guy whose mustache is growing into his mouth, getting into everything he eats and drinks. Please groom yourself and it will help your outcome immensely!
I think you look best with facial hair, it just needs to be well-maintained. You look younger without the facial hair. I think it’s really a matter of which is easiest for you to maintain. You do look older than 37 (And you were a Marine for 8 years? That will do it, you’ve earned it!), but looking older isn’t necessarily a liability. Just lean into it by keeping your hair and facial hair neat.
You seem very friendly in your photos. I am biased by your tattoos, just not a tattoo person. When I see hand and neck tattoos, I start telling myself stories about people. Knowing you are a military veteran helps explain the tattoos. I think it’s smart to have one photo showing you have tattoos, but I would say avoid too many photos that are tattoo heavy. The playful nature in the photo with your daughter, the ram, Smokey, etc. also counteract the tattoos for me.
One thing that is missing here is a photo of you in a formal situation. You don’t have to have a professional shot or a photo of yourself in a suit, but it’s always nice to see someone in a different context. Right now, the only context I see is casual. The classroom photo somewhat does this. But I suggest maybe when you’re subbing one day, get dressed up a little nicer than usual and have someone take your photo for your profile. Then you’ll have a more “formal” photo plus a photo that isn’t a selfie. Maybe tell the person taking the photo it’s for your portfolio/professional website, or like a you-in-action/at work photo for LinkedIn.
The ram photo and the Smokey the Bear photo are interesting, so definitely keep those. Definite conversation starters.
The updated profile is better!
I would ask you out if you still have that beard. Looks way hot on you.
As man to man, stop lying about your age, you’re definitely 47