Battling toxicity and rebuilding trust (25F) & (27M)

Hey everyone, I’m dealing with a challenging situation in my relationship and could really use some advice. Recently, I (25F) fell back into using cocaine, which unfortunately made me act controlling and toxic towards my partner (27M). I misinterpreted things he did and caused unnecessary fights. I’ve realized how wrong I was, and I’m genuinely sorry for my behavior.

I’ve apologized repeatedly and have given him space since he understandably wants to break up due to the toxicity. Even though we live together, I’ve moved to a different room to respect his need for space. He still reaches out to chat and eat together, which has me feeling hopeful.

We’re invited to a wedding next month, and he’s suggested that we separate afterward to give both of us time to adjust. I agreed, hoping that maybe things will change after the wedding.

He tells me he loves me deeply but sees the toxicity as a significant issue. I don’t want to separate; I want to prove that I can change and be better. He’s unaware of my drug use during this time, so I’m wondering if I should tell him that it played a role in my behavior. I’m curious about why he wants to stay together for another month, and I’m eager to learn how I can show him I’m not toxic when I’m sober.

Any advice on how to rebuild trust, whether to open up about the drug use, and how to demonstrate change would be greatly appreciated.

TL;DR: Fell back into cocaine use, acted toxic towards partner. Apologized, living separately, but he wants to break up after a wedding next month due to the toxicity. Considering whether to admit drug use and seeking advice on rebuilding trust and showing change post sobriety.