If upon matching, in the first few exchanges with your match, they (unpromptedly) mention being attracted to non judgmental, open minded people, who like exploring and understand that things are never black or white…do you get the feeling of a poly or sexual fetish/kinkyness?
I think for me, of course open mindedness is a green flag and something I look for in a partner, but I feel like mentioning it that early is kind of a “setting the table” for something?
What do you think?
2 comments
Could be anything, including having an STI.
Those terms are familiar to me as ways to manipulate you out of your boundaries. “You won’t do [sex act] for me? I respect your ‘no’ but I really wish you’d be open minded :/ just sucks that you’re judging without trying 🙁 I really thought we could both be adults and experience new things, I thought you’d be open minded and fun!”
All of that holier than though “I’m open minded and non judgemental and I don’t see things in black and white” reeks of defensiveness. Which usually is part of them already being defensive before they’ve even tried to sneak the fetish in there.
You could also take it as them having a chip on their shoulder about it if they devote so much of their bio to that