throwaway account bc i have family following my main.
so i’m 16, so is my bf, we’ve been dating since we were 14, we’ve decided we’re both comfortable with having it. i don’t know when it will happen for sure, but what are some things i should know? thanks 🙂
edit: i feel like i should add neither of us have been with anyone before each other, we’re both each others first relationship, first kiss, and will probably be first time. so it’s new stuff for both of us
2 comments
Since you are both getting at this with a lack of experience, expect that things will not go entirely as planned.
Sure, some things are possible to read up on and be prepared for. Like how condoms work and stuff like that.
But there are also things that are more individual and depends on the fact that you want to combine his and your anatomy in a way they have never been combined before. Like what angle is going to be comfortable for you, and things like “is he juuuust the perfect length, or will it hurt if he goes all the way in?”
Go at it with the mindset that it can end up not working. In the sense that it’s a bad idea to have just ten minutes on your hands and in the sense that you should NEVER have just one condom within reach.
But also have more than one condom in case it is so fun that you just can’t wait to do it again. Or, you know, if your presence makes him so overwhelmed that he blows a bit too early.
Try not to take it too seriously. Most people get their hair ruffled after even the calmest bed gymnastics. Sex *smells* a hint, or a lot. You are not going to look anything like they do in the movies, so don’t even try. And he is still going to absolutely adore you and crave you, so don’t be more sky than you absolutely have to.
Don’t get at this with the mindset that “on Thursday, I am going to have sex” and plan according to that. Instead, plan that you are going to dip your toes in the water a bit. Try that makeout thing you are already doing, but with less clothes on. Get comfortable being naked in each others company, instead of rushing to the goal. Find out what you can gently and purposefully do with your hands, and find out what he can do with his.
If you both get comfortable real soon, escalate to another obvious step. If you need more time with something, allow yourself to have that time.
Remember that you are both allowed to say *no* or *stop* at any time you feel like it. Including when you are already doing it. Respecting a no goes both ways.
Now, you may already HAVE done some other things where clothes are obviously discarded into all of the four winds. I cannot know that from your post. And in that case, the steps forward are fewer, obviously. As long as you are both comfortable with every step, feel free to take a step or two forward.
If HE feels like a good choice for YOU and YOU are a good choice for HIM, have fun with it.
Be patient, go slow, and talk it out. Sex doesn’t start out like a movie, it can be quick and embarrassing the first time. Spend a lot of time on each other first, do some foreplay, heavy petting, and get there eventually. Chances are it’ll go quick the first few times, but don’t worry, it gets better with practice.