She was my best friend for 3 years, then we started hooking up and then became official in January. We graduated college in May and she moved into grad school at the beginning of this month. She’s 12-13 hours away and is going to be there for the next 7 years.
That distance is REALLY far for me given how long she’s going to be gone. We talked about visiting each other regularly, but frankly I don’t know how often I’ll be able to go there due to work and me starting grad school next year. She’s also SUPER busy already with school and hardly has time to text/call, let alone visit.
I’m honestly considering just ending things. I love her so much but I don’t plan on moving there anytime soon due to going to grad school myself next year. I just feel like this relationship is a ticking time bomb. I feel like inevitably one of us is going to end it within the next year. Being 13 hours away for 7 years and having zero face to face or physical contact seems impossible.
I feel so stuck. I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to just rip off the bandaid and end it so I can start the whole process of inevitably feeling like absolute shit for the next few months after ending it. But part of me also feels like I’m going to regret it big time.
tl;dr: Girlfriend of 8 months moved about 12ish hours away for grad school and is going to be there for the next 7 years. I do not plan on moving out there because I’m going to grad school next year. It feels like the relationship is already over and feels like a matter of time until one of us officially ends it. I’m terrified I’ll regret ending it.
5 comments
Man I’m sorry you have to go through this. It’s a horrible feeling no matter how you slice it but I think you know what has to be done. It’s not fair or feasible for either of you to suffer to make this work. You’ll regret it immediately after, and you’ll probably think about her for a while — but eventually it will all be ok and you’ll be glad you moved on
End it.
You haven’t been in a relationship for very long and even entertaining the notion of staying in an ldr of an indeterminate length is just silly.
You are geographically incompatible.
If she went away to prison and had a possibility for parole in 7 or 8 years, you wouldn’t wait around.
You are 22. Don’t waste your life holding on to this.
Go date available people.
Damn, what grad school is 7 years? All I can think of is surgical residency but she’s too young for that.
Anyway, I agree with you that 7 years is an insane amount of time to do long distance and delay moving forward with your personal lives.
Are you completely unwilling to move to her? If so, then you should call this off asap. I almost guarantee that you will not regret it. Even if you waited, that much training also indicates that her career will dictate where your family lives and moves.
The next 7 years? And you’ve only been dating for 8 months? End it. You’ll regret not ending shit sooner when it inevitably does end.
we end up regretting everything we do.