He woke up a different person

My boyfriend (22M) of 10 months and I (21F) broke up yesterday. It’s so hard for me to process and I don’t know how I will trust again. Ned (my ex) and I were about to move in, in September. We were so excited. He was the one who had suggested moving in. I thought I found my future husband he made me so happy. We were so happy. 10 days ago he sent me a long text that I had a screenshot about how he realized that I am the one he wants to grow old with, how excited he was for our future and how much he loves me.

Then one morning a week ago, he woke up and everything changed. He’s not the same person anymore. He texted me that he’s not going to move in with me, he didn’t even know if he could stay in the relationship because he thought he was a bad partner. He also blocked a bunch of people, and did other drastic things but this was the most drastic.

Since then it’s like I don’t know where the real Ned is. All I see is someone just trying to get through the day. He’s so low, he doesn’t make jokes anymore, he’s so unhappy about everything. He would tell me he doesn’t know why he woke up.

Here’s a few quotes from what he said on our phone call. “Something overtook me, it was like I was posessed” (referring to the morning he woke up and everything changed). “I can’t promise I’m going to be here and not fuck with our relationship”, “It was never a lack of love”. When he looked at a knife in the kitchen he said he thought “why don’t I just stab myself, what’s the point”.

I don’t know how to even process this. Going from what I thought was the healthiest, most growth oriented and solid relationship I’ve ever experienced, to one morning not even knowing who he is or what happened. My brain can’t switch that fast. He has said the same thing every time we talked about the change, he is as confused as I am. Everything he did and said before the morning in our relationship was completely genuine and he felt everything he said. He was genuinely excited to move in with me, and he was about to get me a promise ring and would talk about proposing to me in the future often.

After him waking up that morning, he said several things that he didn’t follow through on, he is paranoid, lifeless, he didn’t care to continue the relationship and so on. I mentioned breaking up on Friday, and he asked me to wait to talk till Sunday (yesterday). Yesterday we talked and I asked him what he wanted and he could never give me an answer and when I said let’s break up he said “ok probably best”.

TL;DR boyfriend woke up a different person, cancelled moving in and now we’ve broken up.