I have been dating my boyfriend a year now, and we’ve lived together for almost a month. He’s a really loving guy, but one issue I have with him is that he doesn’t like it when I’m asleep when he’s not.
I like to sleep fairly early, and I fall asleep fast. Usually I go to bed around 10, whereas my boyfriend likes to stay up late. For the past few weeks, he’s been repeatedly waking me up. He says it’s unfair for me to sleep when he can’t sleep right now. Almost every night he wakes me up and tells me to hang out with him.
A few nights ago, he shook me awake pretty violently. At this point I was so angry and tired that I asked him to leave me alone and let me sleep. He got angry and shouted at me; saying I was being cruel by ignoring him when he was struggling to sleep.
Am I being unreasonable or is he? I know he struggles to sleep, and I’m basically leaving him to deal with it myself. But at the same time I feel like I’ll go crazy if I don’t get enough sleep.
How do I tell him that he needs to stop?
TLDR: My boyfriend has been repeatedly waking me up when he can’t sleep, how do I get him to stop?
24 comments
> He says it’s unfair for me to sleep when he can’t sleep right now.
“I have to suffer, so you do, too?” Yeah, no. If he’s frustrated about not being able to sleep, he needs to go see a doctor. He doesn’t get to take it out on you. And the fact he’s getting physically aggressive about it is alarming enough that you should move right back out, by any means necessary.
Pretty sure that is a form of abuse and possibly torture to constantly wake you like that against your will. It would only be ok if you said it was ok for him to wake you. Denying you sleep like that is bad. Tell him to leave you alone when you are sleeping and to stop being an abusive buttface.
Per NATO and the UN, sleep deprivation is considered torture.
If he can’t sleep he should see a doctor. Not wake you up.
He’s being ridiculous and in my mind, this is abusive behavior. Tell him to stop or move out.
He’s being very cruel and selfish, I would leave as he doesn’t sound like a good guy
So how soon can you move out?
This guy isn’t a keeper, he’s 25 and acting like a 5 year old that expects to be entertained. He’s being selfish, cruel, aggressive and abusive.
The red flags are waving hon, pay attention
RUN
This is why you live with someone before marriage.
Textbook abusive behavior, blaming you for what is 100% his issue (which he should be seeking help/treatment for, etc).
You need to find another place to live and get there and then break up with this man. Some may say this is harsh including you but you CANT fix this!
One year into a relationship most people are still somewhat on their “best behavior”.
HE is waking you up and getting angry at YOU because he cant sleep.
Im not kidding about this, find a new place asap and get the fuck out. Good luck.
Everyone already told you to run – which is the correct course of action. You already know what you need to do.
Anyone that intentionally disturbs other people’s sleep, should be put in a start trek type torpedo, and fired into the sun.
As we don’t have that technology yet, I advise [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dESfHIB4r9E)
That’d be the quickest “do that one more time and you’re out” from my mouth if that was my partner.
tell his ass to take some melatonin and leave you alone. Extremely entitled behavior on his part.
Swear to god… some shit other dudes do is so weird haha
I’m usually pretty reluctant to tell people to just end the relationship on here…
But what in the actual immature fuck did I just read? This is some of the most entitled, absurd shit I’ve ever heard of, lol.
Break up with this guy. Now. If he lacks this much emotional intelligence and general fucking human decency then this will only get much, much worse. Your life WILL suck being with this guy.
Cut your losses and move on. Good luck.
RED FLAG! He is showing a extreme amount of disrespect and abuse. Dump him like a hot rock! Like TODAY!
Move back out. At 25 years old he hasn’t figured out that life isn’t fair and that it’s not your job to entertain him when he can’t sleep.
Dude’s an absolute child. Do better for yourself.
I think I would end up in prison if someone did this to me
This insane. Really. You need to firmly tell him, in the daytime, he is only ever to wake you up if it’s an emergency. He is not a fucking toddler who needs supervision. Tell him if he can’t abide by that, or he suddenly starts “accidentally” waking you up, you’re moving out. Period. You can’t live with someone who acts this way.
Pretty sure this is a form of mental and slightly physical abuse. Sleep deprivation isn’t a joke
A solid punch in the throat would help him understand not to wake you up with his bullshit. If you don’t want to do that, I’d just move out asap. I assume you’ve already talked to him about he finding things to keep himself occupied and not waking you up, and he didn’t want to hear it.
He’s a very broken toy. Very broken. You will not get him change. Not happening. He is selfish and does not respect you
The big question for you: why do you still tolerate his abuse??
Why do you not see his behavior as abuse?
Many people would be gone already.
My husband has issues sleeping too. You know what he does… he silently leaves the room and hangs out in the living room. Sometimes he even stays on the couch cause he knows he won’t sleep well and doesn’t want to bother me. Waking you up and then getting mad that you’re tired is straight crazy behavior that will likely turn into more then just waking you up.
OP,
Tell him calmly that the next time he can’t sleep, he cannot wake you up. It’s not your fault he cannot sleep. Insomnia is not a group activity. He is an adult and must find a solution. Also tell him the next time he does it, you will pack your bags and
Leave
You need to tell him that he needs to go to a doctor and ensure he isn’t putting his body in harms way because you know your body doesn’t function properly without sleep. If it continues you’ll have to move out. Completely unacceptable