Why did you stop using tinder/bumble?

49 comments

1. Because I got into an exclusive relationship

2. Lack of what I would consider quality women in my age bracket. I live between two of the bigger cities in the US

   Most already have kids (I refuse to be a step parent, and have a vasectomy)

   Most of them are pretty overweight, maybe not obese but not exactly falling under the curvy category. (I’m 6ft, 195lbsish, but don’t expect mega fit)

   They put too much emphasis on what a man either must be, or cannot be, and not enough emphasis on who they are as a person (humor types, hobbies, etc)

   They lead with the ‘strong independent’ type with the ‘i don’t need a man’ vibes. Huge turn off personally.

   In Bumble, they rarely actually message, or if they do its just ‘hey’ or some other variant of a weak opener they hate that men do and expect us to kinda carry convo.

3. Because they’re both absolutely useless for meeting anyone

4. No real matches really!

   I’ll just go out in life and do things, yeah, right. I’ll be forever alone. Occassionally having hope, but then, just accepting nothing.

5. time consuming

6. The golden age of tinder for me was 2012-2016. I ate really well, after that it just became bots and scammers exclusively

7. Looked at the statistics of online dating and decided there are better options to meet people.

   Plus, I’m terrible at creating a great and interesting profile. So, I’m not going to completely blame the system.

8. I’ve tried tinder ever since it came out. Not a single match

9. Not worth it, they will keep lowering your self-esteem.

10. Why would I use an app designed to find love but the majority of women are only using it as an ego boost?

11. Because it fucks up my self worth and makes me depressed. I call it the lottery of dating. Winning could happen but I don’t like those odds and I’ve never bought a lottery ticket or went to a casino because of that reason. So I’ve decided to never try the apps again

    Plus, ever since I stopped. My financial health is better and meeting/connecting with women in real life is better and more meaningful

    Why would I use it? I’d rather die single and alone than ever go back on one 🤷‍♂️.

12. When i (rarely) matched with people they were either bots, or didnt reply. Then i took a good look at myself in the mirror, and realized i have neither the face nor physique for these apps and deleted them.

13. It’s too exhausting. You gotta be at least 9/10 in looks, be very popular socially, and have a instagram with tons of photos showing all this stuff. Even after all that you may not get any matches and for the ones you get most can’t hold a conversation leading me to believe I’m just 1 of many matches they’re talking to so what’s the point.

14. The effort I was putting into didn’t feel worth what I was getting out of it. Women were being flaky, some were just weird, I was sending out way more messages vs the replies I was getting, women weren’t putting forth much effort, I was looking for a relationship and some chicks just wanted sex.

    I had one woman text me 24/7. I told her I was at work and I would talk to her later. She said, if I can’t make an effort don’t talk to her at all. Another chick told me just to come to her house and we didn’t even go out yet. A chick that has strangers come to her house is just being reckless.

15. It only serves as a validating tool for women (I’m cis straight male) with lip fillers and below average Instagram followers. Classic case of Benedict Anderson’s ‘imagined communities.’

16. I reckon Hinge is probably the best one out

17. They have been a net negative to my life

18. I find them to be useless and the few matches I did get on bumble the girls never messaged. I had the exact same pictures/profile facts on tinder/bumble as I do on my Hinge account. I have had fairly decent success with Hinge, as far OLD goes, getting matches and first dates. I think I got maybe one bumble match in the same time frame so I deleted it and now use just hinge.

19. Because it’s the most useless, time consuming, unrewarding, negativity affirming, absolute waste of time I’ve ever used.

20. 1) Many girls I chat turn out that they are far far away from where I am.
    2) they ghost me after introduction.
    3) near all of them has a kid.
    4) subscription

21. Tinder because I couldn’t meet any women who were there for serious dating. Heck, even having a conversation with a woman that went beyond a few messages before being ghosted was pretty rare for me.

    I never had a single woman message me on Bumble in over a year.

22. Very low quality women. I’d rather be alone than deal with them.

23. Because over a span of 10 years I’ve only slept with 4 women from dating apps. Why waste my time? I have better luck going out to bars and approaching 10 random chicks like a jackass.

24. got a girlfriend now

25. Almost every girl I match with expects me to initiate and dictate the conversation. I’ve never had a match actually ask me anything or get to know me, it’s always me trying to get to know them. And i’m not a chaser so it’s too much wasted energy, would rather devote my time to other meaningful things

26. Met someone worth deleting it for.

27. I have them reinstalled but never tried recreating my account, since they never worked out for me and just make me feeling worse afterwards. They show me either very attractive or very unattractive people with the worst bios ever, if there is any, and always make me question if my very low standards are being too high. I’ve just accepted that the perfect people for me were from real life and from my past so if anyone comes along then most likely won’t be online.

28. It’s pointless.

    I swipe now for entertainment…. these apps purposely make dating difficult

29. In a happy relationship now, have used them in the past and wouldn’t use them again.

    The concept of a dating app is designed to keep men on there spending money, Bumble is just as bad for this even though the concept is a good one.

    Ultimately, you’re far better off just getting out into the real world, even though the internet would have you believe that all women are terrified of all men. If you’re a nice, well-rounded bloke, there’ll be someone out there for you.

30. I rarely got any matches, even when I desperately resorted to paying for gold subscriptions, it made no difference.

    On the rare occasions that I did have a match, the second coming of Jesus would be more likely to arrive before I even get a reply from match.

    Frankly, it was killing my self-esteem severely.

31. Online dating selects for hotness, not beauty. And since I’m neither, there’s no point. It’s better for my self esteem to chase muscles, money and excellence than it is to chase women. Maybe in a decade, when I’m 50, I’ll have made myself good enough to be worth dating. But not now.

32. I’ve found that the type of people to use it are generally the type of people I avoid

33. Gave up.

    Got zero dates from any dating app, despite following all the advice I could possibly get.

34. It was exhausting.

35. I rarely got matches and even when I did I had no idea how to start a conversation with a complete stranger who probably had a bunch of other men talking to them

36. Not a lot of men that had success with dating apps are going to post in this thread.

37. I am going to make this short because I went on a rant before posting the last message.

    Tinder and Bumble (along with a lot of other dating apps) is just modern day Pimping apps (or well Whore Houses would be a better example). They are quick ways for people to look and say yeah lets fuck.

    Majority of people don’t want to even have a proper conversation. Even if they wanted to have a meaningful relationship it often fell apart because they went just but looks instead of personality.

38. Because over the past 7 years(moreso during and after covid) it has been an insufferable experience.

    And I think it’s because during lockdowns lots of people needed validation that they couldn’t get IRL so they turned to OLD for that and now it might as well be only bots.

    I say this cause before covid I had a steady stream of quality people that I met through tinder/bumble/etc but hot damn, after, wow lemme tell ya buckaroo. Well you already know, it’s shit, actually sometimes maybe good sometimes maybe shit but every day malakia.

39. Cause they’re shit.. tbh, I’ve yet to see any dating app work so I barely bother

40. 0 matches bruv

41. I got perma-banned from both for not following rules 1 & 2

    1. Be Attractive
    2. Don’t be not-attractive

    In its heyday 2009- 2013/14 ish – OLD was the ONLY way I met women. I met quite a few, although none ever really panned out in the long run. (A few months of dating and sex – then fizzle out)

    Now almost 10 years later I have come full circle. The only women I meet are IRL through events, or mutual friends, etc.

42. Waste of time for 90% of us.

43. They’re self harm in slow motion.

    Dating apps have been freefalling in terms of efficiency for years now, imo. Back in 2015 or so I had a lot of fun with them, would have dates every few weeks or so and it actually seemed like they were produced with the intention of bringing people together. I met some great people and had some great times and stories.

    Now it seems like they want people to pay whilst (presumably) fuelling the loneliness epidemic.

44. I used Tinder, Bumble, MeetMe, eHarmony, AFF, Ashley Madison, and so many more. Never got more than a Hi unless it was a already friend, but even then they would tease me about being on it. From my experience it is all rubbish. Waste of time and money. Most ended up ghosting me, leaving me on read, or were soliciting their services and wanted to meet somewhere sketchy

45. I started getting really bad back pain. I’m in great shape so I went to my doctor so she could figure out what it was. She ran had me do X-rays, ran tests, asked about my stress levels and it all came back fine. Then she asked if I was on the dating apps and I said yes. She said my back pain was from having to carry too many conversations with women who cannot otherwise converse.

46. Boring.

    Having a match is a pain in the ass.

    If you get a match, getting them to talk or even have a decent conversation is an even larger pain in the ass.

    Even if you manage to get a somewhat normal conversation, getting a date is stupid hard.

    And even if you get a date, 90% of the time they just want a free meal and don’t have the slightest interest in who you are or actually meeting you, so it turns into two people awkwardly eating together in silence.

    No thanks, I’d rather go eat by myself and spend that money on other stuff.

47. The complete willingness of some women to stop a conversation out of the blue and never reinitiate. They just kind of ignore you.

    I know they don’t owe me an explanation but at least “unmatch” me. I mean how hard is that?

48. nothing works. I’m too ugly.

49. I just didn’t have the energy to pretend to care anymore. It is so draining to have the same conversation over and over