I(50F) have a healthy kink forward sex life. I love younger men and while I am not hot I do alright for myself.
When I met my current FWB(M29) I immediately thought he was especially attractive. There is nothing about him physically that I don’t like. He’s like a hot nerdy guy with glasses and muscles. We have great sex and unlike a lot of my other casual relationships we engage in long post-coital pillowtalk.
At first the talk was sexy stuff, then regular life stuff and then it slipped into vulnerable, intimacy stuff. Obviously this is where I fucked up… And talking everyday probably didn’t help.
I’ve suspected I caught feelings for him and told myself not to contact him. I miss him. I miss him more than what is healthy and I feel silly for getting myself this emotionally invested in a throwaway relationship.
I hoping he doesn’t notice me stepping back. I still want to sleep with him but I think our dynamic needs to change.
I think I should find another lover as well, that would help right?
2 comments
Okay, so…
“Friends” with benefits.
Read that again.
What do friends talk about?
Can you have feelings for your friends? Yes.
What you need to do is sit down with *your feelings* and see if you’re confusing friendship-intimacy with romantic-intimacy.
And maybe you are, and maybe you aren’t. But once you *know* you can have a rational discussion with your FWB. And talk about how you feel. And what you think you want.
Just … running away from the feelings doesn’t help you, long term, and it sets up patterns of behaviour that aren’t helpful to you or your partners.
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Be open. Be honest. Be present.
and most of all, be accepting of yourself, and of your partners reactions.
Just be honest. Tell him you love the FWB stuff but were catching feelings and so need to ease up on the vulnerable intimacy and long pillow talks.