I realized after reading a post on here that no one had ever said they loved me during sex (24 people), except for guys saying “I love you too” after I said it first, just a couple times. In fact, no one has really ever said much of anything, ever. No I love you’s. A brief fling said “you’re incredible” once. I can’t recall anyone calling me sexy, no dirty talk hardly at all.
I on the other hand have said some things. Basically “fuck yeah, oh my fucking god, fuck me, fuck my pussy, I want to use my mouth, I need you inside me, I want you to cum for me, please please cum for me.” That’s not much I know, I want to take it much farther, and I want my bf to say things to me. Something.
I’ve been with my bf 7 years. We’re in our early/mid 30’s. All I’ve heard him say is something like “yeah keep doing that” when giving him head, and “did you come?” Maybe some brief instruction while giving him head as well. Nothing after sex either really. Now that I think about it, I don’t think he’s made any comment about what he likes, doesn’t like (all I know is no butt stuff), what turns him on, his favorite positions, his favorite anything. This isn’t normal is it?
Our communication is sub par in general, but this is really getting to me suddenly. We did one of those short quizzes about what we’d like to try, and he at least said he’d be willing to (not sure if it was top of his list) talk dirty. I tried to send him links to threads on this sub about dirty talk and he never read them. (He had a lot on his plate at the time.)
He says he’s bashful. We both don’t feel super comfortable talking about sex, although I’ve spent a good amount of time on this sub and have gotten a little better about it.
I have fantasized about him saying various things to me. He’s a recovering alcoholic and I honestly can’t see him talking dirty sober. But I want it and think about it a lot. When I picture him saying things, it’s almost like he’s drunk in my head. When drinking it’s a total “bad boy” vibe.
He says he’s down for all kinds of stuff. But he hasn’t finished the second questionnaire that is more in depth. It’s been weeks and weeks. We’ve looked at things online together, stuff I’ve ordered like cock rings, vibrators, hand cuffs, other restraints. But we haven’t used them yet except once. Anyways, the dirty talk. I imagine he wants to but is too shy. I already do a bit of dirty talking, so what else can I do to pull it out of him? How can we get better with communication?