So tonight my two friends met each other briefly for 1 minute. I could sense a spark between them and as soon as (Tim) 36M left my friend (Amanda) 30F told me he was cute. One hour later Tim texted me to tell me that he thought Amanda was cute. So I guessed right.
The only problem is that Amanda likes to be in open relationships and is sleeping a lot around. She also is going through a break up and is crying everyday since 2 weeks ( while dating an other guy).
Most importantly, Amanda, since I know her ( 1 year and a half) has not been a very faithfull person. She has had a threesome and one of the guy was in a relationship so they act like nothing happened when his girlfriend is there. I find it very hypocritical to bang someone’s boyfriend and act friendly with her girlfriend afterward.
She also flirted with a guy when he was in a relationship. Nothing happened between them but again when she was with that guy’s girlfriend she acted like nothing happened.
Lately she became exclusive with one guy ( Mark)) and broke it off with the other one ( Steve). But since then she kissed multiple times Steve after being exclusive with Mark. It’s Mark that had asked her to be exclusive and she agreed.
She doesnt look at all like a man eater, she has a hippie style and looks like a shy person, so you wouldnt guess when you first look at her or get to know her.I don’t want to set up Tim with Amanda because frankly it gives me the ick and I know she is not trustworthy.
I would like to give Tim the heads up about her loyalty, so he obviously doesnt get his heart broken, but I am scared Amanda would found out if they ever go out and are serious.
Because of Tim I met the most incredible man and we dated 4 years and because of Amanda I met 2 months ago this awsome guy. They both helped me and made it happen so I feel like I owe them and don’t want to block out the potential of a relationship.
I feel stuck, what should I do?? Thank you in advance.
11 comments
Oh hell no. If I was Tim, I would be annoyed if you set me up without telling me this information. Imagine she hides it and then breaks his heart, and finds out you knew all along.
I would tell him. Obviously don’t gossip, make Amanda look bad, or have an opinion on his choice. Just tell him the facts. If he still wants to, then great! If things go tits up, you can feel at peace that he knew.
If he doesn’t want to, then you can also feel at peace that you didn’t set him up with someone he would eventually be upset with.
Also, side note, you don’t owe anyone anything. Friends should be there cause they want to support you and they like you.
Nope! Don’t play matchmaker. If shit goes wrong you’re losing two friends.
If they decide to date they can figure out how to connect on their own. Or has one or both of them asked you to help? If neither asked for your help, stay out of it. If they decide to date, stay out of it.
If you tell him that your other friend is a hoe so he knows what he’s getting into… Sure why not.
Sounds like you want to ruin a friendship
Absolutely not wtf. Your friend is not suitable for a relationship
You do owe them, which is why you shouldn’t do this. You owe it to them to find them someone compatible with the other person. If you do this and it inevitably tanks, you’ll owe them even more.
No?
The answer is very simple. Speak only truth. If people get mad about the truth, that is their own problem to manage.
If there’s a shark in the water, I’m gonna be super fucking pissed if you don’t tell me and I get my legs bit off. What am I gonna do about my legs, Charlie Murphy?!?!?!
Id feel betrayed if my friend would matchmake me with someone who they know is not a suitable for a relationship. Absolutely not or at least warn him.
you could give tim her number if he wants it, but i’d also give him a vaguely worded heads up that doesn’t break amanda’s confidence. something like, “i feel nervous about matchmaking here because i’ve seen a bit too much of how amanda operates in her relationships. she’s my friend but i don’t want you to get hurt, so if you’re going to get involved please protect your heart.” say it in person or over the phone, nothing in writing so it can’t come back to bite you as easily if they do end up getting serious