Am I a terrible person?

18 comments

1. Depends on how you go about it. You can have legitimate reasons for not wanting to date someone but if you’re an asshole about it, what do you expect?

2. **Nobody is hurt or angry because you said no.**

   You, simply, are not all that special.

   However, if you tell them no and then give them reasons why, you could be pressing buttons on their ego that makes them react.

   You never need to tell someone why you don’t want to spend time with them. Just say no, thank them, and move on.

3. Your issue is that you are giving them a list of reasons why you don’t like them. Nobody likes this and it isn’t necessary.

4. You’re not terrible you’re just not special in the way you think you are. Your personality is probably as shitty as theirs. Leave women with children alone if you don’t want to date them. Problem solved.

5. Is this because you tell them this right after you sleep w/them?

6. This really depends on how you go about it.

   >I don’t want to date them because they have shit personalities

   If you straight up tell them they have shit personalities, you can’t really blame them for feeling angry or hurt.

7. People just get angry when they are rejected. Doesn’t matter if it’s logical or not.

8. No.

9. Lmao your post is very vague and usually when someone is particularly vague when asking why people don’t like them its because they know exactly why people dont like them and just want reddit to coddle them and tell them they’re a great person.

   yeah u probably suck

10. Yeah, I’d guess you’re pretty terrible if you’re telling your dates “I don’t want to date you because you have a shit personality and that’s on top of having kids”.

11. Having boundaries doesn’t make you a AH

12. Oh wow so it’s not a men thing apparently

13. yes

14. Dude, just look at some of the ads in this section.

    Hell, I imagine you’ll have a lot of the same in comments for this ad.

    Feeling entitled to get exactly what you want from someone else, without changing anything about who you are, is a very common and very unpleasant trait that many people in this world share these days. It’s not new or unique to you in the slightest.

15. Not a shit oersin. Maybe a terrible oersonality. Poor social skills. An asshole. You didnt actualky phrase it that way when talking to another person did you. Jesus

16. After reading the comments, your responses to some of the comments, and that you’re not actually saying it the same way you’ve worded it in your post, no, you’re not a terrible person. In fact, I commend you for your ability to be open, honest, and brave to actually make that boundary known in a timely manner and respectful way so as to not waste time or create misunderstandings for either of you. I can respect that. I’d prefer that type of rejection over getting ghosted and blocked; the latter type of rejection is truly debilitating and haunting. It’s hard to shake that type of rejection, especially since I have no idea what I did/said wrong; so, in the back of my mind, I am just constantly replaying all my past interactions with that person trying to figure out the answer myself to a question I will never get from the ghost. So, yea, at least the girls know why, and they can do with that information whatever they want, but at least they know. Sorry, for the long message, it’s been a rough day today. Two months ago, I was ghosted but today I discovered I was blocked as well when I attempted to text him one last time “Hi👋”. And, of course, the ghosting was cruel enough but the blocking really just broke me. 😔(no, I’m not a psycho and I don’t deserve it nor do I understand it)

17. Are we talking dating apps? If so they should be upfront about kids, and the shit personality you can usually deduce quite quickly with the right questions. The problem with laying out a Tate speech in your profile is that you come across as a dick, so you need to tactfully suss it out.

18. Have a little compassion and grace when saying no. If they persist, then yes, they’re in the wrong. You’re never wrong to say no, but you can say no in an mean way which doesn’t make you look very nice.