Hi!
I am a 23F. Ever since i was like 13, i have been a talkative, outgoing, friendly girl, i do not have social anxiety as you would maybe think. If there is a group of people, i will find something to talk about with them most of the time and it feels natural. So i am very often extroverted and talking to people is not really my issue, but i feel like my resting face does make me look a bit mean.
A few things happened between 2019 and 2022, that led me to have a smaller circle of friends and when circumstances changed , i realised i did not like being alone and it felt horrifying. Since then, i got more social at my college, i got with a few friends that i knew before and i am not that alone anymore or at least no one else would think i am. We have parties for friends birthdays, i go out for drinks with friends etc. But everytime weekend comes around, i feel terrible because very often i do not have anyone to do fun things with because i do not have THAT many friends and they get busy with their lives. Then i am just alone at home and i cannot express how low i feel.
The thing is, i crave a friend group that wants to do most fun things together. Also, maybe that sounds bad, but i was quite popular in high school and everyone knew me, but i was never a mean girl before anyone suggests that. So i think this change of circumstances hurts me more than it would someone else because i think my ego is hurt as well.
I hope anyone understands what i am struggling with and maybe you can give me a new perspective on things!
Thank you all♥️
1 comment
Hey, yeah I think I understand what you’re facing. You want the security of a group of friends that genuinely wants to be around you, and to have some great experiences together!
There is nothing inherently wrong with that desire. I would submit to you that there are seasons in life, and that trying to preserve a season after it’s over is unhealthy, and it dishonors that season. This is why it’s usually taboo to be 30 and still live with your parents, or for old people to hang out with a group of younger people as friends.
In your case, you might be in a season where your social life is a little less vibrant, and instead you’re being formed as an individual. There’s nothing wrong with that, and of course you can always double down on the social side, but that doesn’t help with the horrible feeling of loneliness you get when you’re alone.
But deep underneath it all, I want to ask a hard question. You mentioned that your friendship generally like you, but do *you* like you? Or do you feel like there’s something wrong with you if you aren’t constantly around friends? I ask because it is possible that you have a weak sense of identity, and that is something you’ll have to address sooner or later. The human soul is very deep, and I wonder if you’re afraid to explore the depth of your own soul. Food for thought 🙂