I (19 F) need some introspection on my relationship with my ex (19 M)

I 19 f may have once made a few mistakes in my past relationship and in order to learn from them I need to categorise it. Well technically I have two issues here One that pertains to me and the other to my ex 19 M Let’s start with the mistake my ex made because it happened when we started dating I happen to be a person that is super open about my past interactions with other people (this was my first relationship btw) and so was my partner atleast that is what I was led to believe until he told me after two months he had another person he was seeing before me like literally a month before we got serious so obviously him keeping it a secret didn’t really make me feel good rather felt insecure and started comparing myself to her and stuff he did reassure me but there has been a time when he (during a fight) said I wish you were as submissive as her. Hence my insecurity flared up even though I’m pretty sure he never noticed oh and he also said he such long meaningful conversations with her and what not and how good she is. And she really is the sweetest person. He did apologise later on about his remark but was kind of insincere about it or maybe that was just me. Oh and he also shamed me for not having s** with him when we went to a hotel. It was an issue for a while until we ended.

Okay now it’s my turn to be thrown under the bus now I would try my best to get my partners attention even if that meant being toxic I would try making him feel jealous and stuff (K-pop idols) and I think I might’ve triggered his insecurities which was a very shitty thing to do And I was still friends with someone I sexted a long time ago not that I had any sexual attraction or desire towards him we were just bored But my ex believed that the guy wanted to bang Which is a valid concern considering that the person is a player One day that person was being unnecessarily mean and rude to me so I confronted him about it and he ended up making a sexual joke to which i replied that my boyf (ex) had my id the guy is a friend with my ex too so idk why I said that anyways So he turns or vanish mode and idk starts talking sh*t about my ex
(Both the guys are super toxic btw)
So my ex told me he’s doing that just because he wants me sexually and I told him that wasn’t true
And then I just asked the guy if he wanted to bang
And he said that if I wanted to he’d be down
Which obviously made it ten times worse
I told the guy that I loved my bf and I would never cheat on him and that I wasn’t in the slightest interested in him that way and he had the audacity to say ‘same’
Oh well I messed up and my ex is all furious and calling me a cheater because he read the do you wanna bang message
I mean I get his side but then he just straight up started being toxic and whatnot
He’d just bring up that thing every single time when things weren’t going his way
Did I cheat on him?
Ps- I was still friends with the other dude because I’ve known him since childhood and he literally has no other friends except me and my friends and he has been messed up for quite a while
But I did draw clear boundaries with him
Now I’m basically not talking to either of them and honestly I just feel sm better about myself