As the title says, I feel like in my 20s I was confident, articulate, sharp, and witty. Now in my late 30s, for some reason I feel like I am losing that. I stumble over my words a bit, talk too fast, lose my train of thought, and even stutter every once in a while.
Is it stress? Social anxiety? Just getting older?
How do I fix it?
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You know, I have had severe social anxiety all my life, but then I was able to make the switch to a career in mental health, and man, I completely flipped a switch. I became calm under pressure. I always naturally knew what to do or what to say to someone to help them gain through to their breakthrough. Now I work in social services and I am known as the calm one at work in stressful situations at my current job because after what I had seen and heard at the psych ward and my current job.
I apologize if this worded poorly, it’s been a really stressful few weeks at work, and tonight I am incredibly stoned.
Goodnight
Let’s start by stating that you’re not broken.
First, rule out medical reasons. See your doctor and if possible get a MRI of the brain if warranted. Blood work should show something if there are any issues. Follow their guidance.
Second, assuming you normal with no medical issues, the one thing that I can recommend is exercise. Staying fit is key to maintaining good mental health. That and stop drinking alcohol.
Third, remember the old saying use it or lose it. Engage in things that exercise your mind. Reading helps but like food avoid junk books. Stay focused on self improvement. If you are into career advancement focus on leadership books. Ask your manager for recommendations.
Finally, get involved socially. Develop a good support group of quality friends. Enjoy life. Happiness is key to a quality life.
You may have adult ADHD. I always suspected I had mild ADHD when I was younger. It seems to be getting worse as I get older. I recently consulted a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD.
Have you had any major stressors in your life in the last few years? Something like loss of a good job, or the arrival of a kid? Do you have bad sleep habits/hygiene, or maybe some kind of untreated sleep disorder?
Bad sleep can cause a lot of different problems over time, including the symptoms you describe, as sleep deprivation can impact a ton of different facets of your overall health.
Meditation has helped me with that
Start reading more aggressively. Books – both fiction and nonfiction. It’ll introduce new scenarios, show you perspectives of people facing all types of challenges, people doing new things, etc. — it’ll introduce new concepts to your brain and give it interesting content.
Limit your social media if you haven’t already.
> Just getting older?
I strongly doubt it. I haven’t observed any kind of verbal change in anyone based on their age until much later in life (late 70s and into 80s…and not every person, of course).
I know in my life when I’ve had either significant stress or sleep disruption I tend to make more errors in speaking and in writing or generally find it more difficult to communicate well. But with rest and cessation of the stressors, these issues abate.
> How do I fix it?
You have to try to figure out what’s the root cause of this first. I am picking up a strong self esteem issue here (“bumbling idiot”). Did something happen in your life to knock you down?
You’re not getting quality sleep. Also your probably not exercising.
Are you sleeping ok? I notice my wit and stuff is a lot less resistant to sleep deprivation than it used to be.
See a doctor OP. All these comments will just put anxiety into you and aren’t really grounded in anything.
37 is young. Get a physical and be forthcoming about your symptoms.
Put on “my back pages” and realize you just may have more objectivity about yourself now. Which means gaining self objectivity and the beginning of wisdom. You will be more thoughtful and understanding armed with this knowledge.