Ladies, what stops you from initiating a Convo/relationship if you’re interested?

14 comments

1. Nothing

2. I would not ask a guy out in a group where he could feel pressured to answer a certain way, but that’s about it. That would wait until others wandered away. Conversations are always fair game. I don’t think I would have had the confidence in my 20s or early 30s. But now? I have zero qualms about it.

3. If I don’t know him well, then not knowing if he’s taken already.

4. Fear. I have never done dating before 🫠💩

5. Fear of rejection/uncertainty that they’re interested, appropriateness of the time and place… or just I’m interested, but not **that** interested.

6. Rejection

7. I’m a big girl, and I have seen and heard horror stories from the plus size community about the rejection big ladies face from those who just aren’t into us.
   Being uninterested and having a type is fine, but the fear of being genuinely emotionally bullied for being big and liking someone is too scary for me to initiate things. Plus I’m a very sensitive girl and I know rejection will absolutely crush me and make me cry.
   However I have recently been a lot more daring about it and been more obvious in my interests for people I’m into.

8. I might talk to someone at a social gathering if I’m interested in them, but I’ve never asked out anyone on a first date and never will. It’s just a turn off.

9. From a conversation or approaching? I think is this the appropriate venue for that. I consider if I would want to be approached in the same situation and if the answer is no or I’m not sure then I won’t.

   A relationship? Glaring incompatibilities or the strong likelihood we are very incompatible.

10. Because I used to do it and it all backfired. If a guy’s interested, he’ll do the initiating. If they’re not making the effort at the start, they won’t be making the effort later. That’s my experience anyway.

11. If I express interest or flirt and they give me mixed signals back, then I often will back off. I used to like people more if to had to chase them, but now it feels really bad to me.

12. Pride. I will literally feel like shit if I have to initiate first lol.

13. My current living situation makes it too awkward to consider getting romantically involved with someone… I live with my ex.

14. In my early twenties, I hit on guys several times (I was very “get what you want or don’t complain” at the time) and asked them out. And every single time they thought I just wanted to hook up or they thought I wanted to trick them somehow.

    Even explaining that I was really asking them out was just met with distrust and more attempts to get me to hook up instead. So no. I stopped doing that. They just thought something had to be wrong with me to ask them out.