r/AskWomen who gave up on their dad being involved in their lives, what was the last straw?

6 comments

1. When he sent me a big long message telling me it was *my fault* he hadn’t tried to contact me, and how he **had** to leave because otherwise he’d kill himself, which (he literally said) I could never understand (ignoring that I’d been suicidal on and off for 6-7 years before he left, and had attempted a few times). He also said in the same message that he’d refused to give me his address after he left because he thought I only wanted it so I’d have somewhere to hang out with my boyfriend.

   I figured after that, there’s no point. He clearly doesn’t know me, and never cared enough to try to know me.

2. He threatened to hurt me physically but the way he worded it was extremely uncomfortable and eerie. It was like two months ago and I don’t see him the same way. I will never forget how I felt in that moment and knew I will probably never see him the same way again.

3. he died

4. When I went to him for help (the same kind of help he freely gave my sisters) and he said no. When I asked why he said something that translates to “you need to be humbled.” What he meant was let me marry you off. I said I didn’t see marriage in my future, expecting him to relent because I was in a bad spot. He didn’t care. Some good friends helped instead. I haven’t made the effort to see him or spoken to him in 13 years.

   It’s quite amusing how long it took him to realise I’d gone no contact. To the extent he saw me once in my car and he came over and starting rapping on the window happily, calling my name. I drove off when the lights changed.

5. My dad wasn’t around growing up I remember him stopping by for an hour or two like 3 times my whole childhood. At 13? I started talking to him we talked a lot. Well he went back to prison and we kinda lost contact a bit. At 14 he has this issue of trying to tell me how to live my life. We stopped talking. When I was 18 I tried again and again he wanted to judge my life so I kinda went quiet. He came up and spent a day with me and my mom, spent all day trying to get with her even though she was engaged to someone else and that kinda made me meh about him. My birthday was 3 days later. He messaged me at like 1 am 4 days after my birthday with a half-assed happy birthday. So when he came into my job a few months later and got an attitude I didn’t recognize him I told him very flatly that I was fully aware of who he was I just didn’t give a fuck that he was there, I had a family that I made I didn’t need him. You can’t ignore your kid, show up after their trauma and be mad they aren’t who you want them to be and then just come and go as you please. Stay or go

6. him asking to watch the next time i’ll sleep with a woman