I’ve never had any male friends but i know it’s possible since i see other girls havign them.
I want to befriend guys but i always have the fear of it being misisnterpreted for romantic interest in the back of my mind, so i always come off as cold and distant which makes it difficult to have friends.
Are there ways to make guy friends without it being mistaken as romantic interest ?
I want to befriend guys who already have many female friends, they seem to have better social skills and are less likely to view women through romantic/sexual lense.
Thanks in advance
35 comments
Don’t look appealing to them when you hangout.
I(27M) have two female bestfriends. Both around my age.
Platonic friendships do exist. How to put it? You know you’re on the same boat as the other person but you’re comfortable enough to sit on the opposite ends of the boat and well you have each other’s back covered. There was never a need to sit next to each other.
Maybe it clicks like any other friendship. Others please help OP on this.
Go to public events or places see someone strike up a friendly conversation if they take it as romantic interest then tell them you are only looking for friendship.
Probably be a bit difficult and might have the guy’s SO other wonder why your getting so close to them. Good luck
Do you have girl friends that have boy friends? You could start there.
I used to be close with guys, I get easily be friends with them however a lot of people misunderstood me, malandi daw ako, I give signals daw etc. And now I’m avoiding them, not that avoid na hindi ko sila pinapansin, I distance myself to them, kakausapin ko lang sila if they approach me first or I need to ask a question. Sakit kaya masabihan ng malandi kahit na wala ka namang nilalandi.
Just be friendly. Lots of the girls I’m good friends with. It all just started off with being friendly and nice and joke around with them.
The fundamental problem is A LOT of guys buy into the idea that the way to attract women is to befriend them in a way that appears non-sexual. Just read a few of the “How do I tell my crush I want to be more than just friends?” posts in here.
The truth is almost all men who befriend you would fuck you if given the opportunity, and that creates a constant undercurrent of sexual tension. There are a few exceptions, the two most common being:
* They find you sexually repulsive, usually because the men are way out of your league.
* They are in relationships with your friends or family or their friends or family.
If you’re looking for men who have a lot of female friends, you’re either going to be looking at slutty straight men (who are surrounded by women who want to be with them) or gay men. The former usually *do* have sexual interest in their female groupies, and it’s just a matter of them choosing better options; the latter, obviously, do not have sexual interest in their female friends.
Good luck with that, lol.
What is the goal here? Normally guy/woman friendships develop organically (e.g. from school, work or a shared activity), or else it’s someone you’ve dated that you’ve decided to “remain friends.”
Actually going out to seek friendships with guys is strongly going to give a signal of romantic interest (and you can’t really blame guys for interpreting it that way), because essentially you’re not “seeking friends” or “open to friendship,” instead you’re seeking GUY friends. That’s pretty specific and often misinterpreted.
Why not just seek friends in the normal way, and if some of them happen to be guys, great.
If you have the same interests/hobbies and can talk with him about those, you’re basically friends.
About the fear of misunderstanding don’t worry too much, it’s mutual, maybe drop a hint or two to discourage him or something
Very simple. You just talk with them normally at work or at social events or university or sports courses. Just not in a setting where alcohol is involved
Be really cool but have a super hot friend around at all times to distract that part of their attention like a plane popping flares to avoid a missile or just make yourself completely unappealing. You could also tell them you’re gay, that may work.
Find shared interest groups as a start, I’d day.
But appreciate if someone find another person (regardless of sex of either) attractive, who is being friendly to them and they know they are single, they’re going to at least hope there might be more there.
I’m friends with loads of women (more than guys if anything), but I was never that good at showing interest when I was interested, plenty of them I’m not interested and I’m very good at not pursing/accepting nothing will happen. (Currently got a GF so not an issue, I’m not the cheating type.)
As bad as it sounds, every guy that sees you is thinking about hitting it. Doesn’t matter if they were your friend for 5 years straight, if you were to ask “hey, wanna meet up and do something fun?” They will totally 100% say yes. They won’t be your friend if you were that ugly/nothing to offer. Maybe some aren’t fully doing that as an intention but eventually they will think they may have a chance with you to score. That’s the reality.
Dropping hints that you have no romantic interest isn’t a bad idea, other than that make friends like you make girlfriends. Hav omg similar hobbies is a great conversation starter at times, going to the same events, you name it
Honestly befriend people who are more attractive than you and they’ll never presue you romantically, it worked for me.
you guys have friends?
By showing no sexual or romantic interest in them. No touching, no flirting, call them dude, or bro, never bring up sexual or romantic topics, never lean on them for deep emotional support. You can have deep conversations, but not deep emotional conversations about stuff like childhood trauma. Never ask for or accept boyfriend behavior, always pay your own way, at least at first, until you know they won’t see it as a date or date like behavior. Never hang with them one-on-on anywhere that isn’t public that typically can be seen as a date. It still might happen, a guy or two is likely to catch feelings but you simply tell them you don’t see them like that.
These are just basic beginning guidelines, as you get more used to male friendships some of these rules can relax a bit, as you figure it out. Except for the accepting or asking for boyfriend energy, and flirting.
There’s no reason to seek friendship with men if it doesn’t happen naturally. Female friendships are more rewarding but generally require more emotional understanding and social awareness. Friendships with men are generally less emotionally taxing and require less maintenance, but that also means you have to be okay with insensitivity toward yourself and others.
There are many exceptions to these models, but if such exceptions exist then friendships will form naturally between you and those who share your preferred scripts, regardless of gender.
I have a lot of male friends. Many of them have never hit on me. But some of them do. There is a risk that a guy you befriend could potentially hit on you. Just be ready to have up to one awkward conversation explaining your romantic disinterest if they do hit on you. If you have to give it more than that once, then bail.
But why do you want male friends specifically?
I found my best friend on tinder. She posted in her bio that she was looking for friends, and I just starting dating someone else. (Which didn’t last too long) I think the key for our friendship was to complain about dating and hype each other up. I think if we weren’t both actively dating other people and talking about it, I would have got in my own head about her intentions.
The easy part I did was befriend my friend’s girlfriends. Super chill vibes there.
Hi. I usually don’t post but this subject I feel doesn’t always get appropriate attention. I’m a girl(19) with a good mix of friends, but a majority guys. First, I want to say that the best thing you can do for yourself is find people you respect and enjoy being around, regardless of their gender. If you’re specifically seeking out a group you already feel like you don’t belong to, you’ll get trapped trying to change to make yourself fit. The friendships you already have may be more valuable than you think (grass is always greener, as they say).
That said, you shouldn’t have to feel closed off from almost half the population. Sex segregation is real and harmful. Beyond the obvious 80 cents on the dollar/lack of representation problems, it can make you feel like you’re missing out on male culture and the friends you haven’t met yet.
When I started hanging out with more guys, I became really aware of some shitty social factors—beyond the assumption of flirting. I’m from the US, and it starts really early here: children’s toys, tv shows, favorite video games, movies, activities, sports, etc. can all be impacted by gendered marketing. I was heavily involved in prescribed feminine activities growing up like dance, singing lessons, Barbies, etc. so I didn’t actually have much in common with my friends outside of academic interests. My best friend (one of said guys) loves musical theatre, which is a nice starting place.
Some tips and tricks:
– instead of asking for people’s “number,” as for their “contact.” I’m bi, and in all situations saying “contact” sounds way more platonic than “number” (plus it’s more useful because you don’t have to ask how to spell their name).
– have a partner or be clear about wanting to be single/not being into them (if they try to hit on you and you’ve been clear, they’re wrong and maybe you don’t want to be friends anyway)
– Don’t open with stuff that could be construed as a date. “Would you like to get coffee” could be rephrased as “my party needs an extra person for our escape room.” Codenames is a really fun and easy board game you can do with a group of 4+ in person/online. Minecraft. Dungeons and Dragons. You get it.
– Sometimes they might make jokes about their penises. If they do, it’s totally hysterical to make jokes about your vagina. That’s different from flirting.
– If you start having feelings for any of your friends, be upfront about it and be ready to drop it if you get rejected. Unless they’re taken. Then drop it immediately.
– be a good friend.
I think you have the wrong mindset here. You should be making friends with anyone and some of them happen to be guys. And guess what, sometimes platonic friendships develop into romantic interests. Some of your guy friends will ask you out. It happens. That’s life and how the dating dynamic works. Since you’re a girl, you never have to make the first move on your crush. But guys do, and you shouldn’t be surprised if and when they do it. And you shouldn’t be surprised if the friendship falls apart if or when you reject them. Being exposed to unrequited feelings isn’t good for his mental health, and the right thing to do is to spend time away from you.
The girls you see with guy friends? They got asked out my some. They probably lost friends because of it. They still maintain friendships with guys who haven’t asked them out (yet) or developed *new* friendships. Friendships come and go. That’s life.
Talking to the people around you male or female doesn’t mean you have to be “friends”. Friendships can happen without trying. No need to overthink it
Hahahahaha five hours and nobody has come forward with a way to be friends with a guy without having to worry about him taking it wrong. Yup. That tracks. 42f and I know of no way. You can have medical conditions that prevent sex, ptsd from abuse and explain VERY VERY clearly you are not interested in anything sexual or romantic… and two months later they still accuse you of wasting their time and call you a bitch or worse because you wouldn’t fuck.
Make dick jokes
Just friend zone them at the earliest sign of them thinking it’s romantic. Shit I’m still friends with Ex-girlfriend’s.
just be calm, cool, and collected, and tell them you are looking for a platonic friendship.
Keep in mind that you might not want to just be anybody’s friend. You have to pick guy friends the same way you choose lady friends – do you have similar interests and general life ideologies? Because being friends with a misogynistic man is not fun or worth it.
Those men who are more feminine will be harder to find. But once you do find them it will be pretty easy to recognize how he feels about you.
Just be sure to clarify as early as possible that you’re not looking to date or whatever. That should be enough to get the memo across to a socially adept man.
For less social dudes, all you gotta do is make it clear that you want more male FRIENDS. Before he might develop feelings.
talk about baldurs gate 3
Am i the only one who thinks that man and woman can’t be friends without one of them having romantic feelings for the other 🙂
Cuz basically man won’t befriended girls who are not attractive (for them at least)
Even girls sometimes her male friend is literally her type of guys
So that thing of friendship between man and woman is nonsense
impossible to have good close friendship between straight adult male and female without it ending wrong one way or another.
It could be that the guy sees you as a romantic interest or thinks you may be interested in him but he is actually taken. Unfortunately this has happened to me alot, even though I sometimes feel more comfortable talking with men rather than woman. I don’t think there is any solution to this happening.