In the past I had men show me attention here and there I also used tinder a few times and met 3 guys there that just turned into one night stands to constant sex I’m not into that. Why can’t I get a guy to stick to me. They will ask for my number, talk to me sometimes and we exchange numbers, when I’m at bars clubs maybe one guy will talk to me we text sometimes we meet up again and we don’t talk again, either I stop the conversation or he stops the conversation. So I can’t keep any guys attention long enough to court me and want to get to know me.
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Sounds like what we’re doing is waiting for men to approach us and not telling them what we want. I’d say be more proactive in all aspects. Approach men yourself. Let them know you’re looking for a relationship vs assuming they do. Try to meet men outside of clubs/bars while doing something you enjoy.
It’s not your fault. Tinder has ruined traditional dating. Dating is hard work, Tinder sex is easy. Be specific on your profile that you are looking for a LTR and don’t have sex until you are both in love together.
Sounds like you’re just waiting for men to do all the work. Sorry, that’s a losing strategy unless the guy is desperate or trying to smash anything that moves. Any guy looking for an actual partner will get turned off by a female who doesn’t pull her own weight.
Past*
Hmm, it seems you’re doing the same action expecting a different result: Having ONS —> Guy ghosts—>”Why can’t a guy stick to me?” Definitely switch up your style when you actually get a date.
Also maybe try a different dating app? You say you either stop talking or they stop talking. So aren’t you also doing what you want to stop being done to you?
I swear, im not trying to be a hard ass! I’m just saying maybe change your approach to dating. It makes sense if you’re matching with guys on Tinder (a hook up app) and then they lose interest when you don’t hook up w then. Definitely try a different dating app…My friends all prefer Hinge and have tried (and failed lol) to put me on it. I think it’s more serious than Tinder!
It’s hard to know for sure without more specific information of what you are and aren’t doing to change the situation.
Without more specific information I can only offer solutions based on generalizations I see with girls. Most don’t really put much effort into actually trying to be interesting to guys or getting/keeping their attention. They basically expect or want men to do 100% of the lifting and a lot of men are just kinda sick of it or don’t want to put in that much effort, plus they may assume you’re not all that interested if you aren’t matching their effort level (if not exceeding it) at a bare minimum. So my suggestion if this is the case is to not wait around for the guy to do everything and be willing to initiate or approach him too, give him a reason to wanna stick around.
Second, it could be where you’re trying to meet guys. I don’t think bars and clubs are a great way to meet guys if you are looking for them to stick around. Guys that may seem interested at those types of places are likely only looking for sex. If you are looking for guys that may stick around I suggest you look elsewhere.
Why are you waiting for guys to court you? What are you expecting them to be doing? What are you doing to progress the relationship?
Have strong boundaries about what you need. If you’re looking to be courted, make it clear you only want a serious relationship, and don’t fuck someone until they’ve shown through their actions that they take you seriously. Meaning they’ve gone on several dates with you, and are emotionally available to you consistently. I’ve found Tinder to be shitty at finding long term partners, but it just means you have to swipe and vet people significantly. Make sure you’re reciprocating on what they provide for you.
Seems like you’re only talking about yourself, have you tried to ask them about their lives too? Also show them attention and care. If they make all the work, of course they are gonna leave sooner or later
Maybe try not having sex on the first date so that they don’t get the idea that it is a purely sexual relationship. Bars and clubs are also not the best place to find a long term partner so try going different places with more serious people.
At least wait 3 dates if you want to keep a guys attention long enough for you both to actually find shit about each other before fucking
Within them 3 dates you might have 1-2 decent convos if not onto the next guy and then your find someone eventually have decent it’s just down to you if you want to actually settle
You say that you can’t keep attention but sometimes you are stopping the conversation, why are you stopping it when you are stopping it, if you don’t mind me asking?
What’s your social life like? Do you enjoy hanging with your peer group?
Idk just a suggestion but try putting it on paper, pros and cons of every relationship and be brutally honest, then on another page not looking at the pros and cons try to write what your perfect relationship be like then on another page put yourself with pros and cons and last your perfect guy and what you think will be things you can pass and things you can’t let them pass and check them all …. Also don’t beat yourself due your past learn from it without holding the pain alive my g
After you start seeing each other, what kind of dates are you setting up for him?
When you figure it out I’m dying to know. I get a bunch of matches but the convo immediately turns sexual. I’ve had two guys this summer straight up just offer me sex and nothing else. No one cares to get to know me and it’s exhausting. I feel you
You’re boring and have nothing to offer except your body.