I(22F) have been dating this guy (25M) for six months.
He’s really into cars and motorcycles.
He does motocross and studies mechanical engineering.
I know nothing about these stuff.
I’m Always interested when he talks about what he likes and I like to learn new stuff
However my fear is that he will be more attracted to someone who studies the same things and does motocross since it is a very important part of his life .
What do you think? How important is for men, expecislly does who race, that your girl enjoys your hobbies?
TLDR: since I don’t share my partner’s hobbies I’m afraid he’ll fall for someone who does
9 comments
Notice how he’s not asking if it’s OK that he’s not into your hobbies! It’ll be fine. Just support him and make sure he supports you too.
No problem at all! maybe for ur age u may think u got to have same hobbies, don’t worry about that, just give him ur heart and support him, and he also should do the same with u!
No that’s completely fine. People dont usually want something in particular, they want to be happy.
Worrying about this, getting insecure and miserable sround him will accomplish the opposite of what you want. Enjoy your time with him. Find things to do together with him, find your own hobbies so he gets to enjoys hearing about yours, and enjoys seeing you be happy.
Of course it won’t ruin your relationship.
It’s absolutely healthy to have hobbies separate to your partner. My husband and I both have a couple of evenings each to indulge in our individual passions, and the rest of the time we spend doing joint activities.
We enjoy listening to the other person talk even when we don’t always understand it 100%.
I met my wife at 10 pm, February 11th, 2005. She was 18, I was 19. I was smitten immediately – I turned to my friend and said “See that girl? I’m going to *date* her.”
He said “Go home, you’re drunk, ain’t no chance.”
Well, I proved him wrong. We’ve been together 18 years, married for 1.
We don’t share all our hobbies in common. Maybe a few – we both like to cook, go to the ballet, go to museums, travel. But we also both have a lot of solo hobbies. It’s ok to both go do your own thing, then come back and share. I love her interests, she loves (sometimes tolerates) mine.
Rather than having the same hobbies, I think it’s more important that you support each other and carve out time to spend together, both for fun activities and for couch crashing.
She was really, really, really patient with my tarantula/scorpion phase.
When you sit down together at the end of the day to relax, do you enjoy the same kind of movies and tv? Do you like to vacation in the same environments? Do you have the same ideology? Do you have the same goals for your futures? These are much more important things to judge compatibility than hobbies.
Maybe find another hobby that you both enjoy and can do occasionally together
My partner is a diesel mechanic also really into cars and motorcycles and all things engines, which I knew nothing about. I’ve brought up the same concern to him – wouldn’t he rather be with someone who already has that knowledge and shared interests?
His response is that he appreciates that despite me not knowing much about these things, I’m willing to learn about them because they’re things he enjoys. And I’ve definitely learned a lot in the last 2 years of dating! And in exposing me to his interest in motorcycles, I developed an interest in them and now have my license and own a motorcycle too. He’s assured me that even if I hadn’t developed this interest in it that it wouldn’t have made a difference – but now it’s a hobby that we can share. It’s important to find something that the two of you can enjoy together, whether it’s a hobby one of you already has or a brand new one.
No it’s fine. You both need your own things. No one wants their partner up in all their business all the time lol.