i met this guy about 5 months ago on a dating site. we exchanged socials and texted for a couple of months before finally hanging out. it went ok, but he lives far and i had to drive, it was also awkward. another thing is he doesn’t speak english and i don’t speak his native language that well, so communication has always been rocky.
after we hung out he asked how i felt and i told him i just see him as a friend. he was sad and everything but we continued texting as friends. like a couple weeks later he got drunk and again confessed his feelings for me. when he sobered up we talked about how it made me feel uncomfortable and he said he understood.
we continued talking everyday as friends until last week. he made a sexual innuendo about something i said but deleted it quickly. he could still tell that i saw the message, but i didn’t comment on it. the other day he asked about my work schedule (he knows my work location) and then today a company delivers me flowers from him at my workplace. the note attached is “i hope you have a good day, (the nickname he calls me)”
i’m a bit uncomfortable by it and these flowers must’ve cost him a good amount of money but he tells me he doesn’t have much..
how do i respond to this?
tldr: i’ve been chatting with this guy about 5 months. i’ve told him a couple times that i just see him as a friend but today he sends flowers to my work
5 comments
I’d tell him “Thank you for the flowers, they’re lovely. Although, I’m sorry if you’ve been getting the wrong message from me, but I have to be honest with you. I’m uninterested in perusing a romantic relationship with you. You’re a great guy and I hope we can have a truly platonic friendship moving forward.”
here’s the thing – he is not your friend. You can say you only want friendship from him over and over but he is hoping that you will change your mind if you give it enough time, if he can just show you how great he is, etc. Do both of you a favor and end this with him.
For the millionth time if they have feelings for you they aren’t your friend and if they were truly interested in friendship they would take time away from you to sort their feelings out
You need to get more blunt and stop trying to be friends.
You can’t be friends with him. He’s just waiting for an opening… you’re like an antelope and he’s a crusty old jackal hoping you’ll injure a hoof so he can catch you easier. He’s hunting you. I say let him know you see him. If you confront him, you don’t have to be mean- but you do have to be firm. And then you watch your ass, especially while he’s still in your orbit.