Does anyone have any tips on helping my unhealthily strong attachment to my girlfriend
So we’re both 18 and both girls. We’ve been dating for nearly 2 years. Due to some family circumstances she moved in with me and my dad about two or three months into the relationship and has been pretty much living with us since. She has her own room with her own space but pretty much every night sleeps with me in my bed. I love her so incredibly much, but I’ve noticed that when she isn’t around all i can think about is when I’m next going to be with her. It’s been like this for a while but what has really made me realise I need to get this fixed and sorted Is that she’s moving to uni either this year or next. She’s gone to a festival this morning and won’t be back until Monday morning (4nights). Almost instantly as she stepped foot out the door i felt a wave or sadness rush over me. I just want to be near her so badly that I can’t focus on anything else. My friend (which I had drifted from for about 2 years) reached out today and we spent 6 hours on the phone playing minecraft and roblox together. I’m meeting her in the morning tomorrow and I’m working in the evening. I know staying in contact with friends and doing things by myself other than rotting in bed is very important to try and fix this issue but i was wondering if anyone has any other tips, or should I just accept the feelings without trying to avoid them. I enjoy exercising, and have a gym membership and a swim pass, so I’ll probably go swimming and gyming on the days I’m not working/ meeting with friends, but how do I stop myself mindlessly rotting away playing video games? It’s gotten so bad already that I’ve started looking at a day ticket on the last day to go and see her early, not too bad you may think; I don’t have nearly enough to afford it comfortably and I HATE festivals, but i feel like I ‘need’ her near me. Before you comment something too mean, i know we’re young, and i know it’s an unhealthy attachment, I’m trying to fix it.
Tdlr: I get very sad/ unmotivated to do anything when my girlfriend isnt around. She went to a festival and will be there for 4 nights and i don’t know what to do with my time/ how to get over this unhealthy attachment. I love her and want our relationship to work, but I need to fix my unhealthy attachment for it to be healthy.
2 comments
Unhealthy attachments come from our previous attachments and experiences. Typically from our parents or early relationships.
Was there something that made you afraid of losing someone? Being alone without someone close?
Is it scary for you to be by yourself without her helping to define you?
Maybe determining the cause can help you move towards a fix.
This may also be above Reddit’s paygrade if it’s something more deeply engrained in you. Maybe you’ll need to see someone about it and work on making yourself feel better when she isn’t around.
But based on what you said, it may be useful to figure out how she makes you feel when she’s around…and if you can mimic those feelings with other sorts of distractions.
Maybe she makes you feel confident or strong. Or maybe. She makes you feel loved and welcomed.
Can you find these feelings elsewhere?
Good luck (: I’m sorry I couldn’t add more. It’s hard to say without really knowing you or understanding how you see things.
Let me know if you have any questions with what I’ve said!
I don’t know that what you’re describing is all that unhealthy. If you love someone you usually want to spend tons of time with them.
Maybe you’re worried why you aren’t going to the music festival with her?
Anyway have a conversation and check in where she sees this going.