What are your thoughts on dating someone who believes a racist or sexist stereotype about you?

49 comments

  4. Not a chance. I don’t have the time or energy to date someone who sees me as a stereotype instead of respecting me as a real human.

  5. Absolutely not. I try to avoid people who buy into racist and/ or sexist ideas generally, never mind applying such hateful bullshit to me personally.

  6. “Believing racist and sexist stereotypes” = BEING racist and sexist lol. So no, not someone I want to be hanging with.

  7. I don’t think I’d ever get close enough to even be friends with that type of person, let alone them be my significant other.

  10. That’s a hard no for me!

    Story time: I went on a date with a guy who said he believed women should always be the ones to stay at home and provide for their husbands. Then he accused me of being shallow for breaking it off due to, in his words ‘petty political differences.’

  11. My ex bfs family was racist. He was white and I’m black and his parents didn’t like me at the house supposedly because I lived to far and I later found his other two siblings with significant others were both white and his parents had no issue with them pretty much. My ex claimed he wasn’t racist yet sometimes he’s would causally use the N word around me and make fun of Caribbean food like one time I asked him if he wanted to try roti which is just a flour tortilla with potatoes chicken or any kind of protein or whatever and he was like no I don’t want a dog meat 🙄 And I caught him a couple of different time saying ignorant comments towards middle eastern people thinking they were all a part of that Isis terrorist group. Thankfully I’m not with him now! I have a much more healthier partner and he will never use any kind of racial slurs around me or say any mean stereotype comments! He’s always willing to try new foods with me as well ☺️

  13. I simply wouldn’t. I’m not going to try to change their mind. I just don’t need to speak to them ever again. There are too many people in this big world to deal with trash people

  15. Why would you wish to be involved with anyone who has a mindset that you are in any way, shape or form lesser than they are? Big nope, for me.

    You are far too precious for that nonsense.

  17. No, you’re supposed to feel safe and respected when you’re in a relationship. A racist and sexist person wouldn’t make me feel that way.

  18. hell no. i actually did date someone once who lived in germany but had a different nationality. i’m just a potato (is this internationally used for germans too? idk). anyway he tried talking me into some nazi roleplay bullshit and i couldn’t get out of there fast enough. so fuckin weird.

  19. No way I’d date him.

    I do know someone who is openly racist toward his wife though. It’s disgusting.

  22. Absolutely Not. Total Red flag. Believe a couple or all they still believe it ….

  23. If you date someone racist, sexist or homophobic I can only assume that you, yourself are racist, sexist or homophobic. If you went into the relationship knowing, or you stayed in the relationship after, I do not trust you as a person. I don’t care if you “think you can change them!!!” You can’t.

  27. Unfortunately I have experience with this. Being black I’ve encountered many guys (mainly white, sometimes other men of color) who have openly admitted to seeing me in a fetishized way (which is very racist by the way) even calling me “chocolate/brownie” etc and I knew from then on they never saw me as a whole human being. I’ve even had a guy tell me if i had his kids they’d look “so pretty and interesting” (gross). Some guys are decent and don’t do that but yeaah

  28. Nope. I’m from the Middle East so dating someone outside the region who holds negative views about me and my culture is a clear red flag.

  29. It depends. Is it pure ignorance and something not that harmful? And if so – do they apologise in a genuine way and change their minds when we’ve talked about it? If the answer to both these questions is “yes”, I’ll forgive them. If not they’re out.

    But I’m autistic and you wouldn’t believe how many people thought autistics were ps*chop*ths before finding out I’m autistic and realising how wrong they were… So I’ve learned to accept people who are open to learning, as long as their beliefs aren’t based on actual hatred.

  32. Don’t date them. Nobody has time to teach “grown individuals” how to not be ignorant.

  34. I don’t date people who hold bigoted beliefs about systemically marginalized groups.

  40. If I genuinely liked the person, I’d ask what led to that line of thought. If they were genuinely just ignorant, but willing to change, I’d be open to figuring things out. If they refused to let go of their harmful beliefs and the thought systems that led them there, that’s not a person I would want to date.

  42. It depends on the stereotype.

    For instance I would always always choose men who believe the women go crazy on their periods over men who categorically do not believe that any women go crazy as a result of PMS ever. This is because I do in fact go crazy during PMS (not every month but like more often than not) and I need someone who understands and accepts that otherwise it’s not going to work.

    Conversely if it’s a stereotype that just doesn’t apply to me – like women are good cooks, that also just isn’t going to work.

  48. I broke up with someone because they called my adopted sister who is black, a “monkey.” Sorry. I don’t care how good the sex is, I can’t tolerate racism at all.

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