I was at a couple of meetings with my coworker, and it dawned on me that i was silent through out the whole meeting, only comping up with a few additions to what he was saying.
It’s not like i want to be quiet, but it just seems like i need more time to process things and come up with some clever insights about X, Y and Z. Maybe i am stupid, maybe i am introverted whatever it is, i can’t come up with it on the spot, i usually can after a little while of thinking, but not on the spot.
A recent event was where we we’re talking about teams and their structure, my coworker mentioned Conways Law and had insight about it ready to go, even though i know it and have read books about it, the knowledge feels so unreachable in the moment and I just blank out and nod.
The worst example is when someone asks me to tell about my project or about my self, even though I practice what to say, i always forget something important, and or they say something which throws me of the course completely.
I’m also very terrible at telling stories and captivating people, and even though the stories are good when my SO re-tells them, when i try it comes out bad and a complete mess.
Maybe my memory is just shit? On sprint retrospective, i can’t come up with anything positive or negative over the last 14 days, it’s like everything is scattered in my mind, and i cannot connect the dots. When my SO asks me how it went at an interview, i can’t come up with anything other than “Good” or “Yeah it was okay, we just talked”, even though i would like to tell, it’s like everything is already stored into boxes, and i don’t know where it is located.
3 comments
I think it comes down mostly to practice and/or anxiety. If you’re a socially anxious person (like me) then that can absolutely make your mind go blank/memory seem terrible/make it difficult to say captivating stories or funny comments etc etc.
So, just try speaking a little outside your comfort zone every time, try to push the boundaries of what you’re comfortable with a little at a time. And if you are socially anxious try to work on that too!
Write down some basic notes for structure in advance so you don’t have to pull thoughts out of thin air. Also sounds like anxiety or attention difficulties maybe.
My ability to do this improved once I started taking zoloft.
Also consider asking an IT or CS career subreddit for advice because this seems more professional related than social.
Practice, practice, practice. Write out some paragraphs and memorize, and practice delivering them in your car