How to add new stuff to sex life.

2 comments

1. first, you need to understand that sex sexuality starts in the brain. It’s entirely a mental game. The biggest organ is actually your brain. And the most important thing in a relationship and a sex life and a sexual relationship is to make each other feel safe that’s the first thing you need to do so start having this conversation more often with her and start with light conversation easy stuff that she’s comfortable with you talking about and then slowly overtime add a little bit more and slowly progressed from there there and the most important thing in a relationship and a sex life and a sexual relationship is to make each other feel safe that’s the first thing you need to do so start having this conversation more often with her and start with light conversation easy stuff that she’s comfortable with you talking about and then slowly overtime. Add a little bit more and slowly progress from there. the way you make her feel comfortable and safe in a relationship and talking about this. Is BUY opening up yourself telling her things you’ve never told anyone else open up about what you want to try and if things are difficult to even admit, even if it’s not something that you guys are actually ever going to do just admit to her that you wanna try something like for example I’m really into pegging so when I met my girlfriend, the first thing I told her was I wanna talk about sex sexuality, and often to make communicating about her sex life the most number one priority and to do that I would show her by example I told her I’m indicating I love being pegged. I told her this because I wanted to show her that no matter what she told me I’m going to make her feel safe and be nothing but welcoming and I’m never going to Shame anything she’s into. you see your girlfriend might have some histories, some trauma around opening and talking about sex. Maybe at some point she admitted she told someone that she’s into something and they laughed at her or they didn’t respect her and they shamed her around what she’s into, so this might be difficult to get her to open up. So you have to do is you have to explain to her that sex is not about just getting yourself off and you’re not just wanting to explore sex because you wanna get yourself off or get your cock wet and or anything like that that’s not what it’s about you gotta explain to her that sex is about intimacy about feeling each other but lying together and just cuddling and feeling safe together and it’s about. you can start off by just having sessions where you only please her you only massage her. You only pleasure her and make it all about her pleasure. This way you’re showing her that you’re here to please her and you’re not wanting to try new things just for yourself for your own pleasure you’re wanting to try new things for the relationship for her. other ways to help her physically feel safer is to have sessions where you just lie together, cuddling naked. and the most important thing in sex is after CARE every time you try something new, you just lie there and you held the person. this is something to also introduce to your partner talk to her about aftercare and explain to her what it is. for example, the other day I was with the girlfriend and we were trying to put a butt plug in her and I was pushing it in her for only about 10 seconds and then she told me to stop and I did and then after that, I told her how beautiful it was that we tried that, and that she felt comfortable enough to one try that with me and another to be comfortable enough to say no to say STOP and I wasn’t. I made sure I reassured her that I was definitely not disappointed that it was only 10 seconds of trying this new thing that we tried. I’m just incredibly grateful and incredibly happy that she tried. then we just lie there, and I just held her and cuddled her and held her naked body and hold her and made her feel loved and and safe in my arms. Because so many people in situations like that find it difficult to say no to say to STOP and to not want to stop exploring or stop trying something because I don’t wanna hurt their partners feelings so they just push through it and they do it even though they’re uncomfortable so I think my girlfriend every single time she says no she said stop because it’s beautiful that she feels comfortable enough to say that to communicate that and I never want to accidentally hurt her physically mentally or anything like that. and Sure you guys are only in your 20s so you might think that this is not too much effort and you wanna move on it’s easier just find someone else who’s into all this stuff but at the end of the day you’re still gonna need to be able to communicate all this, so start with this girl and practice communicating about this you can figure this out together and the more practice you get talking about this whether it’s with her or with whoever the Moore practice talking about relationships and sex life and all that stuff the more likely you’re about to set yourself up to have the sex life in the future and the sex life that you want designer and deserve. but also at the same time you can only do so much you can only try to make someone feel as comfortable as possible. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink so the only thing you can do is try to make them feel as safe as possible so that they feel comfortable enough to open up about this. and when you have these conversations you want to open up and talk about some of your past history if you have any little bit of trauma or something that scares you talk about that opening up about that so that you’re encouraging her as well to do the same to then open up about stuff when you’re talking about something and you feel that she’s off or she’s been quiet ask her what are you thinking? How does that make you feel the more you ask her things like that the more comfortable she will be just saying what she feels. I often will do this with my girlfriend, even if there’s just a pause or silence even if I don’t feel like she’s sad or mad or anything but they’re still just a little pause when I’m talking about something I will stop and they will let Will just ask. How does it make you feel? What are you thinking right now? this allows her to open up and to say what she’s feeling and it allows me to learn her body language and then future on ASSOCIATES hard to learn and predict how she’s feeling and get an idea of her body language and her emotional state, and how that kind of correlates together

   I know this is all a lot of information but just remember to communicate communicate communicate and to make each other feel safe you want to make her feel as safe as possible with you in your sex life in your relationship all aspects of your relationship and this will help her open up and open up to you so you can figure out what scares her about talking about your sex life about trying new things, and where things are are scary for her.

2. I don’t think you’re being an ass. It’s normal to want to try new things. It’s weird that she wouldn’t want to at least try a new position.

   Have you tried talking to her about sex during non sexy times, making it a casual and light hearted conversation? Or maybe send her links to sex positions you find online and are interested in trying, see what her thoughts are on it. You could ask her if certain positions feel better or hurt her. Or quite possibly her hormones are whacked causing low libido.