I can have conversations with people but for a few minutes tops, then I have to walk away because I have nothing else to say and im just standing there like an idiot. There just arent that many words in my head.
No idea how most people can sit down and have long conversations with others.
Some people at my work talk to each other literally ALL day and I cant comprehend it.
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There’s always something new happening, it doesn’t just have to be about you necessarily. You don’t even have to say much. People like giving opinions. Bring up current events and see what they say and try to add to the conversation.
I totally get it! Sometimes it feels like my brain runs out of words too quickly
It’s amazing how some people can effortlessly chat for hours, but hey, we all have our own communication styles.
My sister and her boyfriend talk for hours and I’m so bewildered as to how! I have a bad habit of being a bad story teller and someone who skips over details to get to the point.
With some people i can talk 2 sentences and with some people I could talk for hours and it’s not enough. We just jump from topic to topic naturally.
I can easily talk for hours over a phone call if I have time to. It just comes down to both being curious enough about the other person and just releasing my filter, meaning I just feel comfortable discussing my recent ideas, thoughts and events. A good, long conversation feels like a warm shower
Yeah, I know the feeling too. I’m really bad at casual chitchat with people I barely know. One thing I’ve learned is that people like talking about themselves so I always try to ask questions about them, their work, etc. But don’t just ask a bunch of unrelated questions, try to really listen to what the’re saying and see if you can build on that.
my voice is weird so i don’t talk much. just listen. it’s amazing how long a narcissist can ramble if you just sit there and throw in an obligatory “yeah” every so often.
I have the same issues too, and when I try to talk more, it’s just uninteresting and people stop paying attention.
Then I listen to podcasts or watch YouTubers and they sound sooooo engaging and interesting, and they keep going on and on, and I can listen to some of them forever.
I, too, don’t understand how!
Same here. I usually talk for at least 5 minutes. I had a friend I could talk with for hours but I’ve never met a person like that again.
There are some good comments here, but nobody has continuous conversations for hours frequently, unless it’s your profession or something. Sometimes you just click.
Usually when people are talking for hours, there’s some chemistry between them that’s creating a lot of material to talk about.
As an example, I have an extremely close friend who’s basically a brother to me, and we could talk for days if we had the time and energy for it, lol.
A typical conversation could be something like:
* How have things been, anything new?
* Bro talks about work and brings up some issue he was having with some folks
* This sparks a conversation about ethics in his field, where i ask his opinion about it, ask clarifying questions about the context of things and opposing views, then i might give my own uninformed opinion about it, maybe we’ll get a friendly debate about it or just agree outright, lol
* (the above can last for a couple hours on its own)
* he might then ask about my job, and i might talk about some technical thing i had to deal with
* sort of a rinse and repeat of above but about the specifics of what i’m dealing withetc etc
That was just an example involving our jobs, but our topics often span from armchair philosophical musings, to our opinions on some recent movie or show, to venting about our personal lives or the state of the world.
I guess what I’m really saying is, when you’re hanging with a person who you find inherently interesting (and who finds you interesting) – whether it be shared interests, fun stories, thought provoking takes, whatever – you’ll sorta click and before you know it the hours just melt away. There’s no real effort to it, it just happens.
Learn to ask questions. Then YOU don’t have to be the one talking for hours, someone else can be doing that. Then you can listen and absorb info, and from there something naturally will come that you’ll want to say in reply.
I remember when we started dating, my ex and I would talk over the phone for hours. I would look at the time and 8 hours would have passed and this happened on multiple occasions. We used to talk about everything and anything. This of course is an extreme example and was like this mostly during the beginning parts of our relationship but I’ve also had conversations with friends for hours at a time as well. People love to talk about themselves and it’s quite easy to strike a convo when there is differing opinions because you get to gain new perspectives, learn something new, which leads to other topics. There is so much about this world to discuss, it’s just a matter of knowing enough about it to engage in conversation.
Make the conversation about them. In my experience people like to be listened to. Be interested in what they have to say and who they are as a person.
‘Why’ and ‘How’ questions are good conversation extenders so use them when you feel an awkward pause coming.
If you want to share your personal thoughts regarding what they said, don’t be afraid to slip one in.
Having *some* knowledge on a diversity of topics also helps, even if it’s only surface level.
As long as the person isn’t completely repulsed at the thought of talking to you, these tips are usually enough to keep the conversation as long as you want in my experience.
Not that I have done this as yet, but have you written down some topics about your own life? Figure that each maybe fills 3 minutes or so and then if you can make a long list and memorise it (yes, memorise your own life! Not someone else’s!) you could have material for an hour.
It’s just constant “yes, and”- ing for me. Springboarding off whatever they just said. It’s easier if you’re good at thinking as you talk.
I find that being curious and asking questions goes a long way. Each person has a unique perspective on life and everything really. By talking to them and asking questions, we can quickly learn more about the world around us.
People have different habits, ticks, passions, beliefs and ideas of how the world is. There are people with near identical beliefs who have completely different upbringings. It can be pretty fascinating
Do you have any topics you could talk about for an hour? I’m pretty sure if you called me on my phone I could talk to you for hours.
ADHD
I can keep up conversations for long periods of time as long as they’re about, at least, one of my special interests. Otherwise, I’m not sure what to say.
I can do this if I am around people that have a similar sense of humor and a good deal in common. I can’t do it with everybody though just people I vibe with. It’s actually the very reason I decided my girlfriend was the one, we can talk like best friends for hours on end and the conversation is never dull.
Being good at knowing when the other person is interested and able to maintain awareness in an ongoing conversation. On the other hand, some people like me will talk for hours and annoy the hell out of people or be told to shut up (rightfully so)
Because when others talk you listen to understand and gain information about them and the topic.
When you speak it’s cuz you have something to say and are ok revealing things about yourself (self disclosure)
Make sure you’re really listening to people when they speak and branch off of what they say
hi there! learn to be excited to meet people, take interest in them and their story, that’s how you talk for hours with someone. ofc, there’s also gossip and news of the world, but that’s an ice breaker to be honest. people are interesting, you just need to be curious and ask the right questions.
They love talking, so they talk. What they talk about is less important. I don’t think I can ever get there, I’m too much in my head and too worried about what others will think. (Except if I’m drunk. Then bla bla bla.)
By listening mainly.
I can hold a conversation that lasts all day,it’s a skill,learnt and practiced.
But basically,be interested,be interesting.
In the world, there are talkers and listeners – extroverts and introverts. You’re probably a listener, so you’ll probably have better conversations with talkers. Nothing wrong here.
Same, never phoned someone for more than 5 minutes. Never have chats with people longer than that neither.
Only exception is at work when people do want time to pass and noone else is there to talk. Im always stunned about how much people can talk, I cant think of a thing to say after I asked my usual 3 questions to at least know who I am talking to. Everything else feels so pointless. Im not even sure if Im just not interested in the person im talking to.
Some people just love talking for hours naturally. Others need a specific set of circumstances to talk consistently for hours. I personally prefer having a sense of comfort with each other where you could be together for hours and not mind with the occasional flowing conversation.
Some people just don’t want to do it. I’m one of those people that doesn’t like to carry on conversations and I don’t mind it. I like keeping to myself mostly as I don’t relate with people very easily.
Need topics of mutual interest but disparate knowledge levels or subjective appraisals. If the interest isn’t shared at least one person will be bored, and if t he knowledge levels or opinions are the same there isn’t anything to talk about. Small talk usually doesn’t get at either of these, but it can be useful for ferreting out topics for future use. I’d bet that’s what the coworkers did.
I’m an introvert, and being an introvert to me means talking for more than 5 minutes is actually very draining for me, but it really depends on the crowd you’re in.
For example, my mom’s group of friends and my group of friends. On my mom’s side, I can actually talk to her close friends for at most 30mins~an hour because I’ve known them since I was a kid (I’m turning 30 end of the year), and another circle of friends of her, either at most 1 minute or I don’t even utter a word.
Now, for my group of friends, I can talk to them for hours or days that I’m very close with. Usually with my friends we talk so many things, like video games, friends getting married, work/life conversations, and many more. An example would be a very good friend of mine that I’m stuck with since my first year college. We both talk shit to one another (as well as with our other close friends), and occasionally reminisce our good old times together, and we once in a while always advice each other in work and life.
All in all, it really depends on the topic that you find it very interesting, or the chemistry you have with your friends. Even if the topic is not interesting for you, but if your chemistry with them is very strong, then regardless of the topic, you’ll be able to understand the topic and join in.