My wife and I have been together for 5 years, married for 3. Our son is three years old and she has another son who is 7. I love the older one as my own and am very close to the kids.
However, things have been taking a strange turn since we got married. She has been doing things that she thinks are “funny” but it’s been getting more and more dangerous every time. It started with pinching me or “playfully” pushing me, but a few days ago, I was in the kitchen doing dishes and she came behind me and said started talking to me about my day. I was talking to her and, while talking, I turned around and she took my baby son’s dirty poopy diaper and rubbed it on my face and starting laughing. Not to be too gross but I could actually taste it. I tried to talk to her but she said I can’t handle her humor.
Last night, I came home after 18 hour shift at the hospital, exhausted and lethargic and went straight to bed without eating anything. She was also in bed so I gave her a kiss, and fell asleep. I suddenly woke up feeling my nose and brain were on fire, and she was holding my baby’s Tylenol syringe and laughing.
I rushed to the bathroom and threw up. I was in agony and never felt like this before. I felt that I was literally going to pass out from pain. I left the house and booked a hotel room, and I’m still here in the hotel room not knowing what to do. I don’t want to leave my children with her but she is a completely different person around people, and will somehow make me the bad guy. She loves our kids, but I don’t know if one day she will act towards them this way as well.
What should I do? Should I just leave her and risk losing my kids as well?
** Update: thank you everyone for all the advices, and I do resonate with people who don’t believe this could be real. However, unfortunately due to my immigration status, my hands are pretty tied. I really want to leave this situation but at this point, it would mean losing my family and most likely being sent back to my country.
27 comments
Call an attorney and tell them everything and then follow their recommendations. If they say call and file a police report, DO IT.
You cannot stay married to her. She is completely unhinged and will put you in the hospital or the ground someday and laugh about it.
Yeah, this needs to go to the police. If this is new then something has happened inside her head. She doesn’t realize how terrible the things she’s doing are. Next you’ll get a knife through your hand while she’s just laughing and finding your reaction hysterically funny. She might be having fun and knowing the things she’s doing isn’t actually dangerous, but if you can’t have a proper talk about it then it’s time to act due to the potential dangerous future for you and your kids
On the 0.000001% this insanity is real, lawyer up and file and TRO against this batshit insane person
Lmao wtf is wrong with people.
Sounds like a nutjob
Press charges.
This is abusive. There is no place in the world where it would be funny to shove a shitty diaper in someone’s face. Same with hot sauce in their nose. These are things that normal people easily understand as abusive, harmful, not funny.
I don’t know why your wife is doing this – is it mental illness? Is it horrible passive-aggressive anger? Revenge for some perceived slight? Generally abusive nature? I don’t know, and frankly it doesn’t really matter.
It does not appear to be a physically safe environment for you. I would not trust someone who behaved this way. I would also consider if it is safe for her to be unsupervised with the children.
Please consult a lawyer and consider a protective order or resources for people leaving domestic violence situations.
You should have gone to the hospital to get checked out. In fact you still should. What she is doing is abuse. It’s not funny, it’s sick. Take your son and get out. She will turn her abuse onto your son if you don’t get out and protect him from her. Consult an Attorney ASAP and file for sole custody.
Please check out Ebbie45’s resources for men in an abusive relationship.
https://www.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/comments/13im0yh/comprehensive_helpresources_guide_for_male/
Ahhhhhh. Here comes the follow-up story to the dark bathroom farting husband and screaming devil.
None of this is okay. It’s assault. Can you imagine doing that to her? Anyone you love? A rando you just met? You need to get out.
The diaper one was dumb, nasty and wrong but the hotsauce in your nose damaged your inner tissue, made you throw up and caused immesurable pain. That is assault and abuse.
Good parents do not abuse the other parent.
You either leave or you come down with a thunderclap she cannot overhear:
Drag her to a divorce lawyer. Show her the papers: she will never again prank or assault you or you will go forward with the divorce AND a police report. If she promisses to be better but you hear even a hint of ‘you are overreacting’ ‘it wasn’t that bad’ ‘you just can’t take a joke’ ‘you are mean for holding me responsible for my actions’ then you will need to pull the trigger as she obviously didn’t get the problem.
Go to a doctor and get your face looked at. The irritation should be visible on your mucus membranes and you may need to document it for the persecution, divorce and/or custody fight.
** actually abuses you **
“You just don’t get my sense of humor!”
Just so it’s clear. She’s abusing you.
Wowzer! It sounds like she has some mental illness going on. Seriously OP, what the fuck?!? Does she think this is normal? Is she taking pics or videos of her “pranks” to post for internet clout? Both incidents could have long term health consequences and are NOT jokes or pranks that are funny. She needs help.
The abuser is unmasking more and more ever since she got you locked in
I am not a medical professional, but you could have choked to death from that hot sauce episode. Also fecal matter being rubbed on your face and getting in your mouth and nostrils could cause an infection. Your wife is sick. If this was a man doing this to a woman, a restraining order would be necessary. There is no reason to assume that she will get full custody. You need to ask for full custody and child support. This woman is dangerous. What next cut your brake lines in your car all in good fun.
This is unhinged behavior. I’d contact a lawyer and follow their advice on how to safely get away with your kids.
This is Not normal! I would report to the police, honestly!!
What the fuck is up with this sub today
Protect yourself and your kids!
If my wife rubbed a shit filled diaper in my face I would without question divorce at any cost of my own. I don’t care how funny she thinks that is. It’s beyond disrespectful and unforgivable
If this is true….she is mentally disturbed. This is not a joke! You and the children are in danger and you need to get out. Get a restraining order or something!
This seems more than creepy. Is she home alone with the kids during the day? I would worry for their safety and yours. She seems a bit unhinged.
Harming me while I’m at my most vulnerable, asleep in my own bed, would be my dealbreaker. She assaulted you. And that hot sauce bit was dangerous. I’d tell her she was right, I *cant* handle her humor. And that no one in a trusting, loving , respectful, relationship should ever find what she’s doing “funny”.
You have to get your kids away from her. She sounds like a sociopath. This is not a safe environment for any of you
This is abuse. Please leave and fight for custody of your kid both because she could start abusing the kids and because they don’t need to learn what she calls humor.
> However, unfortunately due to my immigration status, my hands are pretty tied. I really want to leave this situation but at this point, it would mean losing my family and most likely being sent back to my country.
You need to get this documented by the police. In the US if you are a victim of domestic violence and you are not a U.S. citizen or a lawful permanent resident, you may be eligible to file for what’s known as a “domestic violence green card.”
I went through same situation 1000% yes that’s right thousand percent.
It is easy fix. File VAWA Petition with immigration make sure you document everything and proof dates etc. You will get your green card that way. And file for divorce.
That’s All.