I’m trying to improve my conversation skills and be less of a passive observer in social situations. Many times after a few back and forth its hard for me to find something interesting to say thats for the most part still on topic to what is being discussed. It makes it hard to maintain a strong connection. Are there any tricks to always have something to say, or at the very least be able to smoothly transition from one topic to another without it feeling forced?
3 comments
You could try **Relating to keep a conversation going -**
Relation: Switch To A TopicWhen a topic is exhausted, string topic A to topic B and so on. Switch to a topic. This is Relation. Take a piece of paper and pen to create 5 points on it. No matter where you start, you can always connect all of them by drawing to the closest point. A conversation is simply that, a string of topics. Especially if you think of these topics as nouns like dogs, love, hiking, etc.
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Ask yourself, “What nouns are (loosely) related to x?” Where x is the current conversation topic being talked about. Or, “(Noun A)…which reminds me of…(Noun B).” Perhaps a friend is talking about their favourite tea, this could loosely relate to a character (concrete noun) who loves drinking tea in a movie. You both start talking about the movie. Perhaps there is a black cat in this movie, that could loosely relate to a book about wizardry (abstract noun). By stringing 5, 10, or 100 topics together you’ll have yourself a conversation. **A conversation is an art form**.
Asking questions is a good one. Most people have a few topics they love to talk about and also like it when people are interested in their opinions. If you take an interest in what they’re saying and want to know more they’ll feel interesting. People like that!
I just ask questions. I used to be pretty self centered but I’ve found that as I get older, I prefer to take a backseat to the conversation and learn more about the people I’m speaking to or texting with. If I find things we have in common, I’ll bring something up, but otherwise I keep the conversation focused on them. People like that. And I’m a curious person anyway, so I don’t mind just listening
Edit: also, be an *active* listener, don’t just listen while you’re mentally preparing a reply. It’s okay to take a bit to respond, it signals that you’ve heard them and are forming a valuable response