I (22 F) want to start dating, but I have no idea where to begin. I know I am far behind on my peers and I feel like people look down on me because of it. In my teenage years I used to get bullied a lot so my mind just wasn’t on that type of stuff.
Now I have been on two dates via bumble and tinder but they both felt really awkward. I feel a bit uncomfortable because I feel like guys expect intimacy from me. Besides that I only have one good friend and don’t have that big of a social network.
Do you have any advice how to date and find a relationship?
2 comments
What do you want out of dating at the moment? As you see, casual dating is quite common but it perfectly fine if that’s not how you see yourself 🙂
Men are quite physical creatures. They tend to show affection through intimacy. That does not in any way mean sex, but a hug, a kiss on the cheek, holding your hand, guiding you by holding a hand on your back, touching your leg. If you make it clear to them that you don’t want to kiss or have sex on the first date and that you need some time because you’re new at this, then a good man will take it seriously. Those who just want to bang won’t, and will try to push it further. Don’t automatically take physical signs of affection to mean that you need to have sex, you are allowed to set boundaries and demand that they respect them.
You’re quite young and your “target audience” will be the same, just try to avoid alcohol on the first date or be very careful about it. Alcohol is a great social lubricant, but you might find yourself ditching those boundaries quickly and regretting it later. Respect yourself enough to fight that urge.
There really isn’t anything magic to it. You meet a person, you talk, if the conversation flows and you hit it off, go on a second date. If things keep going well, keep doing what you’re doing. Finding a good person that matches your personality (I don’t mean have the exact same personality, but maybe compliments it), is hard and takes time and effort on both sides.