As the title states, sometimes it just feels like im just using her pussy to masturbate….
We have great sex usually 2x a week where she always cums from oral and/or penetration and I always finish. I always make it a point that she gets to finish and do whatever it takes to get her there. She gives amazing head and even her handjobs are amazing.
I love my wife to death and feel deeply connected to her so idk if its an emotional thing or not, but i always thought that sex would be some deep meaningful connection. A lot of time ill feel all lovey dovey for several days after but sometimes im just like “k gotta go to work now cya” and i feel guilty that i would have got the same pleasure just masturbating.
Maybe i masturbate too much and have desensitized myself to the sex? I masturbate almost every day before i go to bed. Id say i may have a sex addiction…
Any thoughts why i feel this way, and is this a normal feeling?
11 comments
You masturbate *almost* every day and have sex twice a week? If that’s a sex addiction I need to be institutionalised!!
It’s ok that sometimes sex is deeply connecting and sometimes it’s just functional. The same way that it’s ok to eat gourmet meals sometimes and fast food other times.
While your thought that maybe you masturbate too much is certainly possible I have another possibility. Do you feel like your wife truly wants and needs you physically / sexually? When you guys do have sex is it her initiating at least close to half the time? If you are the only initiator you can see where it would be very easy to end up feeling like she doesn’t want or need sex which then you can see could lead to how you’re feeling
You’re not alone my dude. In comparison to like……..5 other things. Pussy is just 🥱 when it comes to a man’s climax
DO you feel you get the same pleasure masturbating? I get way more physical and emotional pleasure from partnered sex. But I don’t have the chance to have it often at the moment so I also masturbate. But I never feel like I am using a man. I’m a pleaser so most of the encounter is me pampering him. And that’s what arouses me so much.
If you only feel bad when you have to leave right away, maybe you are learning you need aftercare. Time to cuddle or talk about the encounter.
Sex IS an emotional thing. Sometimes it’s soft, loving, slow. Sometimes it’s heated, frenzied, wild. But it’s always connecting.
I cant say if you have an addiction. But if you do, it’s something that takes good things away from your life and yet you can’t seem to stop it.
Does that seem to be the case? I masturbate about three times a day, because I feel like it. I don’t HAVE to. But there’s no reason for me not to. So I do.
My wife and I have actually discussed that at length. And the conclusion we arrived at in our case and which makes us happy (mandatory « everyone is different » clarification) is that she would rather do that than have me masturbate every day in the shower or a dark corner of the house (and her more occasionally).
She’s sexually responsive, and we are lucky that her body is in fact VERY responsive (she gets aroused very easily and quickly) while mine is spontaneous. As long as we have our 1-2 longer proper sessions a week, she’s also receptive to daily quickies.
I find it relieved me of any performance anxieties, guilt, self-doubt and shame, as there’s always another one encounter right around the corner and every time doesn’t have to be mind blowing (though it often is). It also brought us closer and deepened our connection, and she says she likes it as it makes her feel wanted and desired. Plus, it’s good for stress.
So yeah, I can « use » her to masturbate almost anytime I get the urge. Obviously I need to get her ready first and she can say no. She also can ask me to eat or finger her and make her cum when she needs the release without any expectation of reciprocity.
It don’t know if it will always be so, but it has worked for us so far.
This is normal
I’m a woman but I get this feeling sometimes. For me I find it happens when I am feeling emotionally distant from my partner. Or if I feel like I don’t know where his head is at when we are having sex. What has worked for me is making sure we have enough quality time together where we are just talking and being affectionate in a non sexual way. I have a high sex drive and am easily aroused, but he is not. Yet we are both satisfied because I make it clear I don’t want to have sex unless we both really want it. Otherwise it becomes a task. Relieving the pressure + affection + connection keeps sex satisfying for both of us. Just my two cents. Hope it helps!
If you aren’t trying for kids you are both just using each other’s bodies to get off.
I think what you’re describing sounds just normal. But if it really bothers you, it might give you a new perspective if you and your wife occasionally shift the focus away from penetration/achieving orgasm and focus more on play/exploration. In this way, sex becomes less of a means and more of an end and it might feel less like “using” the other one’s body
Hmmm, part of it could just be the ennui of life in general. As we get older and the spark of youth fades, maybe things seem just that much less magical? On some level, we’re these fancy art and poetry writing consciousnesses shackled into meat bodies that are slowly decaying. The feel of that might be that sometimes we really are just getting off with our partners.
The masturbation could be draining the dopamine that adds extra sparkle to the sex. You could try easing off the throttle on that and see if it makes the wife time feel a little more magical.
In a way we are. When she’s not in the mood,not feeling well, so on and ao forth but she still is itamate to show affection