So we have been in a long distance for about 3 months now and we have met in every month up till now. And out of all the opportunities we had of having sex, I came only 2 times. And our last meeting she has been feeling very down because I didn’t cum even once in those 3 – 4 days that we stayed together. I’m not really sure how to tell her [23(F)] that it is fine if i don’t cum.
We were in a live in for about 4 months before which we had to move to our cities. I [24(M)] have loved everything about her and we rarely even had any problem. Honestly, I love everything about her. She is basically the perfect description of a perfect girlfriend. She takes really good care of me. I have never laughed with any girl as much as i have with her. I have had so many new experiences with her.
Now coming to the sex part, we had sex very frequently, 2 times a day on an average. On holidays we usually did it up to 4 times. I normally don’t insert my penis inside her vagina unless I have made her cum by oral or fingering. Generally, I make her cum through oral. After she cums, it is my turn to cum. Which, will take around 10min because I usually hold it in but after a certain point it even goes to as long as 2 hours. Now, the longer it takes the more fluid is used up and our bodies get tired. Sometimes this usually makes her body dry and it tends to get abrasive and using a condom makes it that much harder for me to cum and starts abrasing her insides. But again it’s the protection we need. Obviously there were times like this where I didn’t hold back and came 3 times in 10-15min.
The last time we met we had sex maybe 5 times and I didn’t cum even once while she did on 4 occasions. We were also busy with our work. But this has been troubling her. Also I didn’t masturbate for a week before we and even when we were staying together. While I normally masturbate between 2-5 times depending on how horny I am. Basically I am more frequent at it on holidays. Which should be normal.
2 comments
Some thoughts:
1) you definitely should get lubricant. It helps A LOT with longer sessions to make them more pleasurable for everyone involved.
2) you say you make sure she comes before you start sex. Do you do that because it’s important for her? It appears, she’s insecure because you make her come but she can’t make you come. Why not turn it around sometimes so that you make sure that you come first? You can still make her come afterwards if you want, that’s allowed 😉 talk to her to make sure you don’t just assume she wants to come first and every time.
3) if you want to tell her she’s beautiful don’t give a blanket statement like “you’re beautiful”. Tell her exactly which part of her you find especially attractive right now: is it her lips, her eyes, legs, whatever. Why do you say she’s beautiful?
>Now, the longer it takes the more fluid is used up and our bodies get tired. Sometimes this usually makes her body dry and it tends to get abrasive and using a condom makes it that much harder for me to [come] and starts abrasing her insides.
Use lube my friend! Lube for her, and a tiny drop of lube in the condom to help transfer sensation to your penis. But don’t put too much lube in the condom, too much can make it slip off. It might also help if you can practice jerking off with condoms to figure out the right amount of lube to use.