it’s not a huge issue, but it’s one that im not sure what to do about.
i have a few piercings-double lobes, helix, septum and nipples-and i enjoy the look of them on me. they make me feel more confident about myself, especially the septum and nipple piercings. i would like to get more on my ears, and im considering a nostril piercing. i never wanna get any more on my face or body other than the nostril, and i really only wanna get more on my ears. he doesnt mind any ear piercings, but i only recently learned that he prefers my boobs without the piercings than with. thats not to say he doesnt like them, but he just has a preference. they are definitely my favorite piercing and i never wanted to take them out, so hearing that there’s even slight less attraction because of them makes me a little sad. he is also pretty against me getting my nostril pierced. he is clear that he isnt telling me what to do, he says i can certainly get it if i want it, but he just doesnt like it that much.
i know i shouldn’t withhold from doing something i enjoy just because he isn’t a fan of it, but it also feels bad for me to get a piercing and for him to not be as attracted to me, or have an ick of sorts maybe for me. i would like for the thing i enjoy for myself to be supported by him too, and i know he supports whatever i do, but i dont know how to explain it just doesnt feel as good for me to do it anymore because of this.
im not sure how to go about it or what i should do. i know it’s not a huge deal, but it’s weighing on me a bit. any advice is appreciated.
3 comments
Firstly, it sounds like you two communicate well which is the foundation of any good relationship.
You’ve both expressed an opinion about it and you’ve both been respectful. I think the next thing for you to do is be clear about your concern; ask him if having more piercings will make you less attractive in his eyes. If he says yes then you need to work out what is more important, for you.
Obviously he has no rights at all over your body, you must do as you please. But if he finds you less attractive because of it, then that’s also his choice.
Does that help at all?
Welcome to being in a relationship. This all comes down to how important your piercings are to you vs how much he dislikes them. Sometimes we have to not do things we want to do in order to please our partners. Or to do things we DON’T want to do in order to keep our partner happy. Or we find some happy medium. And we should expect the same level of compromise/sacrifice from our partner. You have every right to keep your piercings, and he has every right to dislike them. Just figure out how important this issue is for both of you and make your decision accordingly. And expect MANY more situations like this to arise over the course of your romantic life.
This issue comes up here now and then about piercings or tats. Look to see how others have dealt with it in the past: [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/search/?q=piercing&restrict_sr=1&sort=relevance](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/search/?q=piercing&restrict_sr=1&sort=relevance)
Both people are entitled to express their truth. I also find any and all you piercings a turn off, as will many other people.
However, how you feel about it is more important than how others feel. Once you learn that, if won’t matter what he or me thinks about it.
I just want to say that as long as you find it attractive, it shouldn’t matter if the whole world hates it. Keep doing you.
Just don’t be resentful if people aren’t finding you attractive or the men you desire don’t find you attractive.
They may not find those piercings attractive which is their right.
Don’t mistaken the fact that you like your piercings that everyone else should like it too
That’s why you should be ok with it if nobody in the world finds you attractive for your piercings