I’m pregnant right now, I am F18 and he is M30 if anyone is wondering, and of course my hormones are going to be “crazy”. I try to initiate it, like I’ll caress him and try to cuddle him.. sometimes he pushes me away and other times he gets up and goes to another room. Even when we are going to sleep, I try to cuddle him and he pushes me off him, then he cuddles me and if I move he turns over, I am crying as I am typing this.
Maybe I’m sensitive, but it’s always been that way. I try to touch him, he doesn’t even acknowledge me. It’s like he’s bored of me which I don’t know why after all the stuff I did for him and been through with him, he can’t even give me the bare minimum.
It’s not just about the sex, sometimes I just want to be touched and not in a sexual way. My love language is skin to skin contact, and I never use to be that way until I met him. I feel so bad for feeling this way but I know my feelings are valid. I don’t even pleasure myself either, when he pushes me off or away I just lay there and shed some tears. It hurts alot emotionally, like why when he wants too but not when I want too..
He doesn’t even tell me he loves me first. It’s always me, I could be laying beside him and say “I love you” not once has he said it first, if he did I don’t remember because in the past months I’m sure he hasn’t.
It sucks and he’s the only person I see everyday, the only person I talk to everyday and the only person who’s in my life really. I love him alot but I’m starting to not feel loved by him, sometimes I just want him to hold me, but he always pushes me away and I don’t know why. It’s not that I don’t love him being the only person and man in my life, it’s just like.. I get lonely and he doesn’t even spend much time with me. He’s always on his phone, or watching a movie. Like he’s trying to get away from me and avoid me.
I’d like some advice on what to do and maybe some advice on why he’s this way because it doesn’t make sense to me. I’m sitting in our living room right now on the couch typing this, I will probably sleep here tonight too.
21 comments
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Question was it always like this? Meaning from the beginning did he do this? Explain how he was in the beginning of relationship till now if you can
Well first off, no one should have sex unless they want to. So it’s entirely okay for him to turn you down.
However, it sounds like there is some kind of disconnect in terms of communication. Maybe he’s feeling touched out while you’re feeling the extra need for closeness. But it just isn’t being discussed. It isn’t kind for him to be cold to you, but it may also not be kind of you to touch him when he isn’t in the mood to be touched (even in a non sexual way). That’s where a conversation needs to occur.
I’m also a little concerned about the age difference, to be frank. Particularly because he seems to be the only person in your life. Do you have friends or family to talk to about this? To offer support during the pregnancy and after?
God I feel for you OP. I know how this feels but not quite to the extent of being pushed away.
I think this is a problem aside from just the sex. Your basic, understandable needs aren’t being met within your relationship. To me, it sounds like you’ll be having no emotional support at least through this pregnancy, and that’s awful.
I can imagine you feel extremely lonely and isolated if you don’t have many others around you. I don’t know what your options are, but I would seek support from family/friends if you have any.
I get the hunch that speaking to your fella is getting/will get nowhere sadly, otherwise I’d suggest that.
You need to decide what it is you NEED in this/a relationship and whether or not he’s giving you this, or, will he ever. Don’t settle for less than you want, need, and lastly deserve.
The choices we make in life are ours, we just don’t believe we have the power or strength to make these choices. The actions of others are out of our control, only your actions you can control.
I’m 31, I already look back on many aspects of my life and think why. Why did I waste my time being unloved, unheard, untouched. I didn’t love myself enough or feel I deserved it.
You’re young OP, I had my daughter at your age, its a life changer. I hope you find a way to navigate around this situation. But honestly, if you have tried to communicate with him and he doesn’t hear you, and doesn’t care about hearing you, you are better off without it.
18, pregnant, with a 30 year old.
Jeez. This sounds healthy.
Girl… there’s a lot more wrong here than the sex. That age gap is severely concerning. How far along are you? I’d get out of there as soon as possible and try everything I could not to bear his child
Please break up. This is not a healthy relationship. You can do better
It’s because you’re in an abusive relationship.
This is fake right? Hopefully it is.
Oh, noooooo. What a horrible situation to be in at only 18. My heart hurts for you. As hard as it is to accept, this is NOT the man for you. Please leave. You have so much more life to love. Don’t waste it with someone who clearly does not reciprocate your feelings. You deserve passion and respect and so, so much more. Good luck!
THE AGE GAP??
THE AGE GAP???? How old were y’all when y’all met/get together?
Easy one. He’s using you
So the answer to a doomed relationship was to make a baby? If you have family, return to them and leave this abusive man.
Wait if you’re engaged at 18, does this mean that y’all were dating before you were legal? If so, he’s a straight up predator 😐
You’re a victim of grooming. You’re 18 and pregnant with a 30yo’s baby. How old were you when you initially started dating? How did you meet?
You’re going to tie your life to a man who groomed you and is now discarding you. The fact that you feel the way you are feeling is because he is ABUSING you. That’s why you’re confused. That’s why you’re feeling neglected and not loved. Grooming is abuse.
Leave.
please get out of this relationship.
You’re 18 and he’s 30? How long have you been together?
He’s probably getting bored now that you’re 18 and eyeballing the current junior class at the local high school. I’m not trying to be funny.
Can say I’ve seen false posts like this before and It’s sad. The way to know is that OP never responds to any comments, and if OP does respond, either to mine or someone else, then there is the question of whether or not this is just another dude with a fantasy or actually someone real.
You shouldn’t be worried about having sex, worry about being 18, pregnant with no support network or other people in your life who you could turn to, and I’m guessing no means to support yourself either.
You’re a teenager who’s entirely dependant on an older adult man for your every need and he is withholding intimacy and emotional closeness from you. This isn’t about sex, kiddo. This is about abusive manipulation and control. If he cared anything about you then for starters he wouldn’t have made you pregnant at 18, and yes a 30-yo guy does know how to not have “accidents”!!! Ffs. I don’t know what your back story is, but you’re in deep trouble. If you have no friends or family to turn to, please contact social services in your area and ask for counselling, income support and housing. Do this ASAP. You need to grow up fast because you will have a baby to care for, very soon. I’m sorry this has happened to you.