What explains why this was so awkward and uncomfortable for everyone?
A few days ago, I got dinner with my siblings and their friends.
When the waitress came back to the table to ask us how the food was, I responded something to the effect of, “It was really good. My compliments to the chef!”
I was met with awkward, stunned silence, and I cannot understand why. Was what I said weird? Was it potentially the *way* I said it? Or was it because it was simply an uncommon answer? If it was the wording, what about it made it weird, and how can I rephrase it so that it’s not weird and it makes everyone happy instead?
15 comments
This is where you realise that others can have social awkwardness too. They don’t know what to say.
There’s nothing wrong with what you said as long as it was a normal tone. Perhaps she just didn’t know how to respond because it was the first time she’s heard it. She should have said “I’ll sure to pass that along!”.
You’re supposed to say Chefs Kiss where the chef comes out and kisses you
I have experiences like that somewhat routinely.
What I try to remember to do is ask myself if what I said was something that required a response. The answer is usually no, it didn’t.
A response might have been nice. But your compliment, while well-received, can easily stand as something not *requiring* a response.
You did well.
Were ya in a McDonald style restaurant?
Speaking purely from my own background (English and Australian) that’s not really a thing I’ve ever heard anyone say. To me it’s an old fashioned thing to say, and the kind of thing you might say in jest with an over the top accent, but not anything I’ve ever heard said naturally.
I’d put it in the same camp as something like ‘methinks he doth protest too much’ – said in a flamboyantly formal way.
It’s more usual in my experience to say something like ‘please let the chef know how much we loved it.’ Or similar. So maybe people weren’t sure if you were serious, or they were just taken aback by the cliche of the line?
It comes to down everything else about your communication that’s non-verbal. If your ruminating this much about it days later it’s likely your not in a great place emotionally so when you say the comment your emotional communication is still negative. So the compliment sounds disingenuous or maybe sarcastic or insecure even though you meant it genuinely.
Very much depends on what type of food/restaurant. If it’s fine dining, that’s probably ok. If it’s a burger type place, not so much. It may come across as sarcastic or taking the piss
Maybe flip the situation around and think about what the waitress was going through that day. How long was your group there? Was she really busy waiting on your table and others? Was she having a bad day? Who knows what she had been thinking about up until that point. Maybe it wasn’t you, but something on her end.
Any chance it could have been construed as you asking to literally go to the kitchen and compliment the chef? Used to be a waiter and that would be awkward as hell if they knew the chef would want nothing less in the middle of dinner service.
Sir, this is a Wendy’s.
What restaurant?
Maybe it was a place where the food is just frozen and there is no “chef”. Like an Applebee’s.
There is no chef, it’s all frozen microwaved food. You’d be surprised how many restaurants aren’t really preparing any food these days
“Something to the effect of” could be doing a lot of work here.
Eg did you say “I’d like to make sweet love to the chef” or “I wanted to kill the chef but then they made me this tasty food”?