So the past year I really lost contact my friends from High Schoo (We were friends for like 4 years) I was way too busy with college that I didnt really have time to hang out often. It also didnt help that I wasnt feeling all too great during that time.
I havent spoken to them in like 3 months or so. But the thing is (this may sound a bit harsh) that I dont necessarily want to hang out with them, I just want to do stuff socially. Im also not sure if even like them as friends. One guy of that friend group is solid, good guy, trusworthy etc the rest though are a bit “snakey”.
For example when we used to hang out and one of the guys wasnt around it was shit talk galore. I was told things about others (from the “best friend ” of the guy) that I didnt ask for and sounded like a private subject that the other person wouldnt really like sharing with others (especially with people he isnt as tight with).
I have told that person also stuff in trust and guess what? He told people that im not even friends with. Or just shit talking in general. I reallly dont like shit talking behind someones back espacially about a friend, so when that type of convo would start I would say something like “Hey lets call x (the person that was being talked about) to get his take on the matter” Or if they had a problem with said person I would say “Have you told him to his face that you didnt like what x did? I really wonder what you guys say about me when Im not around”
Am i just having a too high of a bar of what to call a friend or shouldnt I just expect much of “friends” if you catch my drift? Are friends only people you hang out with? Or people whom you also trust?
I am taking a year off from school to get my shit together and now I have lots of time but I just feel a bit lonely. So thats why I thought about reaching out again. But more with a just hang out vibe and not a “trust” vibe. So i can build new social circles around that. What do you guys think?
Thanks for your time.
5 comments
Do not go back to people who will put you down or cause problems. Or cause you to not progress in life. Thats my only advice for ya
I’ve reconnected with friends after years it it was all cool. Go for it dude
If I’m not sure I like someone as a friend I can be damn sure I’m not reaching out to them to rebuild my social circle.
Nope, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
One of the things i learned in my college period is that people come and go , so i would advise you to make actual friends for your sanity sake