I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 3 years but haven’t been sexually attracted to him for the past 2 years. We lived together 24/7 since the beginning of our relationship and I feel like he’s more of a brother to me. Besides this he’s an amazing partner in everything. Could living 24/7 be the issue
Hi everyone,
I wanted to ask for people’s opinion about my situation. I never told him that I’m not sexually attracted to him anymore until 2 days ago. So there was no way of him trying to improve or solve the situation before then. He said since we both enjoyed a lot other parts of the relationship and I agree I did, we should try to make it work and if it doesn’t work then we end it officially. Should I completely break up with him? Or should we try living separately or him at least get a job where he won’t be in the house 24/7 and he’s only in the house 3-4 hours a day. Would seeing him less make him feel less of a brother to me and bring that spark that once existed where I thought of him more sexually ? Or should I completely break up with him forever and not give this an option. He’s great in everything except for not being creative which I like and I’m no longer sexually attached to him. He’s caring, respectful, beyond supportive, always asks me if he can do anything to make my life better. He shares same minded goals as me. However, I don’t have the urge for him to fuck me. It’s also because he’s skinny and doesn’t have big muscles. However he is telling me to give him one opportunity to prove to me he can change his body because he’s been wanting to do it for himself and for our relationship. I know 100% sure if he goes to the gym he will gain a lot of muscle. Whenever he says he will do something he does it for sure and succeeds. While I haven’t been sexually attractive to him for the past 1-2 years I’ve enjoyed a lot of great moments and enjoyed life with him a lot. We never had a stable living situation because we would move every 2 months to a new country. We finally have an opportunity to get an apartment for 1 full year lease and he’s adamant that is a huge plus that would help our relationship.
People of Reddit what do I do. The fact I hid this from him and not let him try to work on the issues until only 2 days ago does this mean it’s possible and I should give him 1 chance. This relationship was great for me I enjoyed it. Do I try and work things out with him to at least see if we can salvage this relationship by making trying different things in sex since we have basic sex every 2-3 weeks and I only enjoy it after it starts but don’t look forward to having sex before it starts. Should we not breakup yet and go to couples counseling or a sex therapist? Should we stay together but get different apartments or at least live in same apartment but only see each other 3-4 hours a day. Any other suggestions or should I end it forever because I no longer have that urge to get fucked by him or can that urge come back if we work on this together
1 comment
It’s hard. Most people tell you that sex is not the most important thing in a relationship, and it’s not, until it is.
I think the gym could help, and both being honest and open about possible kinks that you would want to incorporate into your private life. But if after that, it’s still once every 2-3 week, I would bounce.
Try, so you know for yourself that you tried. But, honestly, realistically, there is nothing sadder than hyping yourself up to go have mediocre sex. It’s sad, especially at 26.
Moving out sounds like you’re dragging the(inevitable) breakup.