She said that I was too romantic…

To make a long story short: Made a new friend and we hung out at the cinema. It never even needed to be said that we both felt a sexual charge between each other. Guess I should add that we work together. Ik, ik but she can separate her emotions. I’d. Like to believe that I can as well; seriously, she has me questioning my emotional intelligence (the crux). She’s dope but I’ve assured her that I don’t have that intense of feelings for her.

The story beats that lead us here:

– The night before meeting up; we had a convo about being totally ourselves as humans with each other. She said that sounded like fun. Bet.

– During the film: After all the talking and pregaming. She has me straight up squirming in the seat for at least a least a kiss. I broke and just asked for it. Got a yes.

– I did gush about how pretty she is in the middle of kissing. She held out her hand, so I took it. Gave a thigh a squeeze while holding her chin as well. I did try turn it into a makeout session but she said she didn’t want to there “We can do this after.” Forsure.

– She did say that she didn’t want any snacks but I ended up buying us water anyway because we had been drinking. Both gotta drive, ya know.

– Walking to our cars: She starts talking about what she’s looking for, to be fuck buddies. I said ok. I definitely think I said it with a tone that didn’t hide that I’m still high from the kisses. I did run my tongue over her lips (just trying something from a song I heard recently. Thought it’d be sexy.) Though I understand how that act can seem as though I’m still trying to French after she said no.

– We’re saying our byes cause she’s gotta jet but we both stepped closer for one more. A kiss here, a waist squeeze there. End.

Now, I’ve awoken to a text saying that all of that had actually made her uncomfortable. That we have to be strictly platonic as she doesn’t believe that I could handle anything more. Sure, whatever you want. I apologized for not realizing that I was totally overstepping and everything is cool with us.

Saying that the reason is because I was too romantic though still has me shook. In my mind I was being seductive. It was never stated that it be a date so I didn’t think that. Guess I’m asking… How can one tone down romance yet keep that intense sexual feeling?? I guess?? I will say that I do try to exude this kinda boy nextdoorish vibe but it’s manufactured. I wasn’t popular in my hometown so I needed something to draw in people. Still perfecting it. I’m too old and my libido is too high to be waiting to learn the lesson. She’s even has the body type I find to be perfect to me. Still, I can’t be waiting around either. Sucks for me but forsure. I know everyone finds subtly super sexy but damn is it difficult to have to keep reading for signs, gauging how far to go, remaining confident, and come not come off… In any negative way really. Lol I even asked her if she could teach me how.

This still ended up being long, sorry.