I’m approaching thirty and becoming angry.

25 comments

1. Play some video games

2. I would get a therapist to talk it out.
   We all pick up baggage with age and it’s not uncommon to hear people get more jaded, but it doesn’t mean it’s healthy behavior.

3. Pick up heavy things. Put them down. Repeat.

4. Its easy to get pissed off at life as you get older. Especially if things arent going exactly to plan. Pick up a hobby, start exercise and meditation maybe some CBD. Life is too damn short to be angry my guy.

5. It’s not an inextricable part of aging, and it’s probably caused by some underlying stress that you’re feeling but not conscious of. I’d try meditation, hiking, cardio, or maybe therapy. Find a way to introspection and ask yourself what the real reason for your feelings is.

6. Maybe do some volunteer work so you can gain some gratitude and insight into what real problems look like.

7. Id say you’re just having a bad time. I’ve chilled out more than ever in my older age, to a fault.

8. Its a phase…soon you will run out of fucks to give.

9. It depends. I have a shorter temper now because of ongoing stress and problems that I’m trying to overcome and just getting sick and tired of it, but when I’m focused on something else, like at work I’m way more chill than I ever used to be. I used to argue with my supervisors relentlessly, now I never do, although I will tell them when they’re wrong.

   How’s the rest of your life going? In Mark Manson’s book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” he makes a good observation and says this:

   >To not give a fuck about adversity, you must first give a fuck about something more important than adversity

   Do you think that applies? Do you have meaningful things in your life?

10. Not sure if this is up your alley, but you should look into Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It helped me deal with my depression/anxiety following a bad diagnosis. It might help you with your anger. Best of luck

11. When diabetes causes blood sugar levels to rise or drop, it can lead to feelings like anger, anxiety, or depression.

    Maybe it is time for a physical checkup?

12. Anger and irritability are a common sign of depression and anxiety in men

13. I know this sounds weird, but are you taking some time out of your week to just relax or do something you enjoy? Do you plan vacations?
    I’m 32 and I was like this until I started taking a weekend for myself each mo th. If I want to lay in bed, I allow myself to do it. If I want to go to the coast, I go. I just give myself a day or 2 to do what I want to do. It’s helped.

14. I’m not sure it’s an age thing. I have been really struggling with my anger for quite awhile. I don’t know what it is, but I’m trying to explore it, and learn more about it, or myself?

    My mother is a very angry person, nasty at times. I try to think of her when my blood boils and it helps, because I don’t want to be like her.

    I think a good first step is to take some inventory on yourself and ask yourself questions about your life and try to find patterns of when you are angry. When you don’t eat? Sleep? Work? Family? ROAD RAGE is a big one for me when people are not contributing to the flow of traffic.

    Therapy or groups may help as well. Getting outside in nature is my most favorite peaceful thing that helps me unwind. Being mindful of your breathing can help as well (mindfulness meditation).

    Sometimes I just wonder if it is an innate or genetic thing or a phase. You have already brought awareness to the issue, which is a good first step! Maybe we are missing something from our lives? Who knows?

    Edit: I see you are an ES fan, me too! Though, I am currently learning to laugh when I die a thousand times in Elden Ring, so ESO is on break.

15. Get an MRI.

    I felt the same way, kept getting angrier and angrier about all kinds of issues.

    Turned out, I had brain cancer and the tumor was affecting my personality and moods.

16. Are you used to being angry or is it like a foreign thing to you? If you stop and think about it, are you feeling overextended or like you’re being taken advantage of in life?

    I ask because when I was around 27-28, I noticed my anger waking up and it felt a lot like this. Before then, I had lived my life as a people-pleaser, and I would constantly give more to people than I really wanted to, brush off people mistreating me, say yes when I meant no, constantly avoid conflict etc. People would walk all over me or use me like a trashcan for their bad feelings. I started realizing the cost this was having on me, and one day it was like the dam broke and I was PISSED. Suddenly tailgaters bothered the fuck out of me, people’s selfishness (and/or their courage to do their own thing) filled me with resentment, my job’s bullshit schedule started pissing me off etc.

    I think at some point I went too far into it, handled a breakup very badly, was kind of a dick at work for a few months, but honestly that’s my only regret about this time. Anger is a vital protective instinct and a decent amount of people have had it suppressed all their lives. Looking back I see this angry period as a phase of growth into becoming an adult that can stand up for myself and get my needs met. Perhaps it is the same for you. I think as modern men we get a lot of messaging that anger is bad, or “too masculine” in a bad way, but in my experience a lot of guys have a toxic script in their heads that they’re supposed to be this uncomplaning plowhorse who never gets mad, and anger for them is a critical signal that something is wrong that they need to tap into because they’ve been taught to ignore it their whole life.

    I notice for a lot of people that the things they do to smooth over issues and limp along in life stop working around mid/late-20s. The volume turns up on things that aren’t working in your life, and you basically can choose to process them and grow, or you can try and drown them with drugs/alcohol/workaholism etc. I knew a lot of people who chose the latter and most of them died (a few in the famous 27 club). Maybe this is a moment for you to look inward and at your life and try and address what’s not working for you.

17. I was the opposite. I was really angry in my late teens to mid/late twenties but have gradually mellowed down after hitting 30.

18. It happens. Knees wear, back hurts more. Knowing you got to work 39 or 30 years more. You can’t relate to your culture anymore. You know you’ll never be a rockstar now

19. I was at my angriest in my late 20s – early 30s. Career wasn’t where I wanted to be, personal life wasn’t where I wanted to be. Seeing my friends and their wives buy homes, have kids. I felt so behind. Made me just a joy to be around.

    Try to appreciate the good things you do have, and take time to be good to you. I work a lot of hours (salaried gig) and it’s taken me a long time to just be like – I’m doing laundry and making a decent lunch for the next two hours, because I worked 14 hrs yesterday!

    Be kind to yourself. Because few other people will be.

20. I turn 35 in August. I have found I fuuuuucking can’t stand stupidity and people that in general just do not pay attention to whatever the fuck is going on around them. I think you end up, like one of the comments said, just quit giving a fuck. I also do personally feel that it is partially do to age. I could be wrong about that part, though.

21. Get therapy. Looks like you are piling up issues starting from your childood until now and you need to solve/work on them. It’s the best gift you can give yourself.

    Personally, I was also super bitter about pretty much everything, then it transitioned into other sensations such as anxiety and depression.

    The sooner you start the better.

22. It’s not a normal part of aging, but the cause could be any one of a number of different things; anything from some sort of mental illness, to stress at work or at home, to spending too much time on the internet arguing with strangers over politics.

23. Therapy helps me a lot, once you stop giving a fuck about everything besides health and family you’re free

24. Was in the same boat for a while. I kept asking myself, am I the only one who notices this? Is the way I’m processing things normal?

    Establish small healthy habits and focus on mindfulness. Simple things like appreciating hot running water, being completely present when tasting something incredible, paying attention to scents and wind during a walk/hike.

    I took up jogging and meditation and I can’t tell you how peaceful and calm I’ve become as a result. Of course it doesn’t mean I’m completely serene, but when I notice I’m going down a well trodden angry or cynical path I take note of it, acknowledge it and move on.

25. Go get some anti depressants. You need some Zoloft stat. Life changer. Orrrrrr you could have a brain tumor if it’s severe enough of a personality change. I know 2 men that had this happen and 1 woman. The men survived their marriages did not. The woman didn’t survive.
    Get some help.