Im gonna try to keep this short, while still trying to get my point across.
How do I make a real friend, and do you always have to stay superficial for a while? I kind of like the idea of having a friend, but for me they’re practically nonexistent.
I don’t want a “bus buddy” type of “friendship”, where you are only in each others lives at school/work, and then you go your separate ways only to meet again the next day.
The very few “friends” I made were like that, barely any personal connection at all, just one common interest keeping us together.
4 comments
yeah thats what it seems like for me but for a while now I just go about my day doing my own thing anyway
Ask people to hangout often and do things everyone enjoys
You can’t force it. Those friends just happen on their own. Don’t be too hungry to turn every acquaintance or single-serving friend into a best friend. Just be yourself and do your best to show off your positive qualities and they should form naturally. If you chase too hard, you will come off as desperate and turn people away. Just be yourself.
Real friendships happen when you genuinely care for the person. Not for anything in return- you love them for who they are as an individual, you want to see them succeed in life and you are there for them through the ups and the downs. When you meet someone who you care about in this way, and they are able to reciprocate, you have a real friendship.
These friendships can start as bus friendships or work friendships. You have to want to take the relationship to the next level, which involves some vulnerability on your part. Getting to know the person beyond that one shared common interest, and going from there. You can then branch outside of your shared interest and make new memories together and start being a bigger part in each others life.
Many people don’t know how to be friends in this capacity- true, genuine, solid friendships like this are rare. Also, as we are older and busier with life stress and bullshit, it’s harder to put in the effort to develop these new relationships.
It will take some trial and error and you’ll find you may not want to be “real friends” with some of the people you are surface friends with anyways. But if you open yourself up to others and are genuine in your intentiosn you’ll meet some good people, and when you do, hold onto them 🫶