Recently i(31m) went on a first date with this girl I met earlier in town. We had a good time, changed restaurant after few hours and went to big city public foodhall. In there, we continued chatting and having good time.
After 30 minutes there, I spotted 2 of my close male friends coming to us. I introduced them, we briefly chatted together and they left. One of those guys is paparazzi. After they left, 5 minutes later I spotted him taking a picture of me and my date, from like 20m distance (us sitting – my face visible, and her side and back also visible). I laughed uncontrolled and she asked me why I laughed, to which I lied that “just a funny story came to my mind which connects with what you just said” I lied because while for me it was a friendly banter from man perspective, it was also my first date with her, and I was afraid she might not like the fact that someone takes pictures of her, and that could create an unwanted glitch, in what was in overall, a nice date.
Now I talked with my other friend about it, and he told me that it was a funny situation and I should have instantly told her what happened.
Is not telling truth in situations like this something bad in your opinion? I think that on one hand it is becaue I should not be afraid of rejection, and if hypothetically we would succeed in future as a couple, that story would resurface somehow and she would ask why i hadnt told her she was photographed. On the other hand, i wasnt taking hidden pics of her, this action was by no means dependent on me, so why should I risk possible unpleaseant reaction from her…
TLDR I didnt tell my date, that one of my friends took a photo of us during our date. Is it acceptable?
16 comments
I personally would have told her. But that’s just me.
If you didn’t tell her then, no point in telling her now, as long as her identity is concealed. If it becomes something semi-serious or actually serious, then you should tell her.
Open and honest is the way to go
In todays world of dating its lose lose, everyone is so skittish
Honestly is the way to go, you play it as a joke but maybe were weirded out by it and asked them to delete it, but she still likely would’ve blocked you
Not saying anything would violate trust and make things uncomfortable with her and she would’ve blocked you
I wouldnt keep the picture no matter what
Keep that to yourself, she could have thought something crazy was going to happen.
Why did he take your pic? Are you famous? Is he gonna post it somewhere?
It’s going to be worse if she finds out you lied. It’s not a good look. Soft YTA
Good you didn’t say anything. It’s kind of creepy for a first date. If she already knew the friends, it might be more fun for your date.
I don’t think it’s a big deal either way, I’ve been in the same situation and in my scenario I told her- I even sent her the photo and she laughed. Though mine was a second date and we had been talking a long time before ever meeting. (My friend lives next door and captured us outside my house without my knowledge.)
Honesty is always the best policy. Don’t start off being a liar.
I mean. I get why you fibbed. You shouldn’t have, but I get it.
Ehhhhh I don’t think it’s really a big deal sounds harmless, if things work out later on down the road you can always say hey remember when I was laughing uncontrollably on our first date?well such and such is a paparazzi and was messing around taking our pics
I hate when people lie about dumb things.
No harm, no foul. Not a big deal honestly
Idiot, your reasons are not telling her is just stupid. You should have just told her what was going on. You’ve already started this relationship with a lie, good luck with that.
I would have not told her either, it’ll be something funny to tell her later
You made the best judgement call with the limited facts you had. Even if the dishonesty bothers you. Don’t beat yourself up. You can tactfully tell her the truth if it turns into a LTR or something.