I’m 33M and I’m only attracted to and had sex with women. What puzzles me about my sexuality is the following… day to day I love to see hot women in the street (or Internet) and even more so when they attract [sexual] attention by other men. Now, and this is hard to explain as it’s not clear even to myself, I sometimes I fantasize being those women as much as I desire them myself. I only had sex with a few different women in my life but that was many times, as I had long term relationships instead. In bed during sex my internal fantasies with them often revolved around they being in a situation where they were with a new guy that is passionate for them because they are so hot and also dominates them in sex, as in being in control. This also seems to mix sometimes by me fantasising being the woman in that sex too, even though the very active man in the sex is me! Hard to understand and admit it, but in that fantasy it’s other women like those that I saw in the street that are in my mind instead of the actual partner, or maybe a bit of merge between them. Is that a trait of gay sexuality? Sometimes I even lose my arousal and erections in sex when I don’t connect with that fantasy, so I can say it’s really strong in my sexuality. I don’t know how to think of it let alone deal with it so any suggestions are welcome!
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The thing is, no one can really say. My life philosophy is to just go with it. Human gender and sexuality are too complex for black and white labeling. I like to use labels that feel right more than if they’re 100% accurate (within reason of course). If you feel that straight feels like the right label, then that’s the right label. If there’s another label, that’s cool too. And gender expression is also wildly complicated and fluid. Present yourself however you feel comfortable
>I’m 33M and I’m only attracted to and had sex with women
You’re describing heterosexuality.
>In bed during sex my internal fantasies with them often revolved around they being in a situation where they were with a new guy that is passionate for them because they are so hot and also dominates them in sex, as in being in control.
So you fantasize about some other guy fucking the woman you’re fucking? Sounds like cuckolding/hotwife. Could be a self-esteem thing, like you feel like you’re not capable of satisfying them, yet some other guy is. If that’s the fantasy you need to get you off during sex, so be it. Are you beating off to porn a lot?
I think you fantasizing about being the woman that men want to fuck is also a self-esteem thing. Do you not feel desired, being who you are? Thus you put yourself in the place of a woman you find attractive and you wish you had that attention yourself?
It’s prudent to do one’s due diligence about whether one is trans or not when one has any kind of fantasies about being the opposite sex.