a lot of my friends aren’t bad people per se but have some very annoying/rude habits. for example, showing up super late to an agreed upon meetup time, not texting back, or canceling plans last minute. some might think these behaviors themselves already make someone a bad person. but where do you draw the line?
2 comments
For the people that show up late, have you tried giving them an earlier time? As someone who struggles with basic functionality, time blindness is definitely a thing. I’ve had friends “lie” to me about times knowing I most likely will be late, so if I do show up late I technically won’t actually be late for the original time planned (if that makes sense).
As for texting, some people just suck at texting back. I will absolutely begin to write a sentence and get distracted and then completely forget to finish and send a text. Then the time between the text and a response gets longer and then it just becomes awkward and I begin to start to feel guilty for leaving it so long. So, if anyone needs me they know it’s best to call. Also sometimes people get really busy especially as adults, everyone struggles with making time for themselves and friends.
On cancelling plans, if they straight up cancel at the last minute (as in you’ve already left your home) then I would agree that’s just shitty behavior, period. (Regardless if that person has social anxiety)
If they’re someone who cancels plans like a day or two before, as annoying as it is I try to give them grace. I know myself that I still like to be included into other peoples plans even if I think it’s likely I can’t attend. It’s more so the thought that people still want to include me which is nice.
Lastly, it all just depends on where YOU wish to draw the line.
I simply stopped engaging people who don’t engage back. I save my time for people who put in equal effort. No, I don’t have a super active social life, but any outings that I do are very high quality.