Disclaimer : i’m not an english-speaker so i’m going to do a lot of mistakes. Sorry about that
Hello, i’ve been with m’y ex girlfriend for 8 months, she left me about 2 months ago. She left me because i was getting upset too easily and she couldn’t handle it anymore and it made her lose her feelings about me.
Since the breakup, i’ve been seeing a psychologist and i think i’ve made a long way with my problems
Last thursday, she asked me if i was available to see her, i wasn’t since i left the town where we lived to go back to my parents house so i just said no, but i plan to go get some stuff next week. Then, later that day she sent me multiples messages and called me multiples times to ask me te come because she needed to talk to me (i had 2 hour of travel). I thought she wanted to talk about us and maybe get back together so i did the travel.
We talked for hours, about us, about what we had to change to make it work and both agreed with everything the other said. after that, i asked her, what do we do next ? I told her that if she needed time to think, she has time, if she wants to talk more, we can talk.
The next day, she texted me that she had seen me like a friend when we where together and not a boyfriend so we couldn’t get back together. I was really sad and bored for having come all this way for that. And i was kinda upset since i felt that she didn’t take the time to think about everything we said that night.
Anyway, i tell her ok and good bye since that’s what see is kinda asking for by “leaving” me again. Then she showed sadness about me telling her that. I ask her why she’s sad since that’s what she asked for and then she tells me she doesn’t know if that what she wants…
I old her that if she needed time, she had time, if she needed to talk, we could talk. So she had no reason to give me an uncertain answer…
She told me that she expected to get her love back by seeing me, and since it didn’t go this way, it was over. I told her that i don’t think the same way and that if we just needed to not see each other for a month and half to get her back, it would be too easy.
Anyway, at the end, i just asked her to be sure when she make a decision like that and not tell me “i don’t know” once i tell her “ok i’ll leave”, she answered “ok”. I also said that her decision doesn’t have to be “yes” or “no” but we can also just see each other and see how it goes. Since then, i don’t have any answer, it’s been almost 2 weeks. I don’t know if she’s thinking about it, if she plan to give me another answer or if it’s clear in her head and she’ll never come back…
I don’t understand her, she miss me enough to almost beg to see me, and next day she tells me she see me like a friend. I never missed a friend to the point i make him do 2 hours of travel because i miss him… And when i accept her decision she tells me she’s not sure and after some discussion she just stop talking and keep being silent for also 2 weeks now…
Some people tells me to just don’t bother anymore and forget her but i’m really in love and i can’t just forget her.
I would juste need help to know what’s in her head since i really don’t understand, to me it makes no sense
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**TL;DR;** : Ex girlfriend blow hot and cold, what in her mind ? And what should i do ?
5 comments
She is confused.
Not sure you’ll get what you want from her neither her from you.
Move on.
>We talked for hours, about us, about what we had to change to make it work and both agreed with everything the other said.
It sounds like she isn’t prepared to do any of the things/make any of the changes that were discussed.
Either that, or she *is*, but she’s doing it on her own schedule without telling you anything, and she’s planning on getting back to you in a few months or whatever else, depending on how that plays out.
So you have two choices: ask her what’s going on, or let her go.
She doesn’t want to be with you, but hasn’t found anyone new to fill the gap yet; hence she comes to you for attention. I’m afraid the most you’ll get from her is a hookup followed by “we really shouldn’t have done this”, if that, and in return you’ll bleed yourself dry emotionally. You need to let her go.
I feel like you should move on,she’s trying to get her love back for you so. …….
“Some people tells me to just don’t bother anymore and forget her but i’m really in love and i can’t just forget her.” You got your answer right there.
You blew it and she has decided to move on.
Now it’s time to learn from your mistakes and move on.