Men that had relationships with women with a kid(s) that turned out successful. What was the story and how did things work out to the way they did? Where are you guys now?

9 comments

  2. When I (39m) was in my early twenties I met a girl (a year younger than Me) she had a son (T)who was 4. She had him when she was 15/16.

    We dated for a few month and I met him. And it went well. Shortly after meeting him he turned 5.

    His dad was in the picture but would only see “t” oncenjn a while on the weekend.. maybe once a month once every other month.

    She and I dated for a long time and the kids dad was in and out of jail (drugs, car stealing, breakins, stuff like that). As I remember it, he would be in jail for 3 months out for 1, in for 7 months out for 2, in for 1 year out for 3 weeks.. it was always random.

    Anyway, she and I dated and eventually got married when he was around 8, we had to explain to my “t” at a young age, that his dad was “sick” he did not understand right from wrong and that he did bad things because he didn’t know better and it had nothing to do with my son. He statmrted calling me “dad” at around 6 on his own unencouraged..

    Eventually she and I had another son who is now 13.. and even later down the road we divorced.

    I have kept both of my boys together and even though I had no rights to my “son” (step son) I had him on the same schedule as my biological son 50/50.

    Now my oldest is 21 and he just graduated Cal Berkeley, he works at Verizon making as much as I do, got his real estate liscence last February, and just started his own business (junk hauling) in August.

    He still talks to his “father” (what he calls him) regularly who has now graduated high school and has a full time job a wife and 2 kids.. but “T” calls me “dad” and we still have a relationship where we do things together and spend time together.

    It hasn’t been easy, he and I have had problems so it isn’t picture perfect. But we are a family and still together and don’t ever want us not to be.. he is mine, plain and simple….

  4. Honestly in my entire life I’ve never heard Single men being with single mothers go that well. they don’t last at all.
    The longest relationship I’ve ever heard which was my Best friend dad was 18 years.
    They waited 18 years to tell him that they’ve been wanting to divorce a long time ago. It broke sadly. That’s besides the point of this topic though.
    The dad left not sad but satisfied he ended up being remarried in less than a year.
    I asked him his opinion and he said. Please note I’ve heard the same thing from countless men that were married or in a relationship with single mothers

    “It feels weird you know looking at this child. Know that this child is not mine…. Knowing that the women I love was with other man I-I… It didn’t seem right I cried sometimes hoping to God that these children were mine but I know deep down they will never be. It feels awkward joining a family that you didn’t help start, it feels like you have no power over them, it feels like you can’t tell them anything on how to behave, how to eat, how to talk, how to ask for things, how to get a car, or do your taxes… After all I’m NOT THEIR REAL FATHER.” The old man cried in front of me and left to his new wife who was childless and he was happy to truly start his own family not alone or joined a family but started one together.

    Other opinions I’ve heard.
    “They’re so desperate for a daddy for they’re kid, so I play fake daddy for her. But man her Ass was hmm. Like DAYUM! That ass claps real good. Shit I hit that again. So sad but the truth is they just girls meant for fun. Not my problem the first nigga didn’t stay but after it’s was HER DECISION”

    “So she want me to join her family, you know fill the father position. But she doesn’t fill in the mother position. I work endlessly, I come home two things always happened. 1. There’s no food at the table and 2. She asks… Always “what are you feeding me tonight.” Honestly I couldn’t stay for her she was so annoying that it was wearing me down. But when I see my little cupcake’s face smiling it makes me forget everything. But I know when I leave this child will not be coming with me because it’s not mine and I will crying every night knowing I can never do anything to have her.”

    “She’s got multiple kids from different fathers when I’m trying to be The Father she desires. She doesn’t want to give me… Me my own child. I completely felt broken as man and walked away with tears in my eyes.”

    Honestly in my opinion going on dates with them with previous single mothers most of not all were spoiled, entitled, hoes, or plain just rude.

  5. I don’t want to be pessimistic, but that’s a very difficult road at best. I assume that he doesn’t have kids of his own.

    She will be the most important person in his life. He, on the other hand, will be a distant 2nd, 3rd, 4th… depending on how many kids she has. Things will be lopsided and imbalanced from the start.

    A childless man married to a woman with kids is never a stepfather. Women may be more comfortable sharing parental authority or less, but when a disagreement shows up, she will pull rank every time. After all, they’re her kids, and not his. Whatever her comfort level with sharing decisions may be, when push comes to shove, she’s a parent, and he’s an unpaid babysitter.

    There will probably be an ex. Whether intentionally or accidentally, he will almost certainly create drama for the kids, and for both of you. This can be as simple as not being where he’s supposed to be, when he’s supposed to be there, to threats of violence, to openly making sexual advances or jokes toward your partner, to draining your finances and making your family miserable with frivolous custody demands. Legally, you are probably stuck with him. Think of him as another person you’re bringing into your family: her, the kids, and her ex.

    Adopting the kid is a scam. A piece of legal paperwork means nothing to the kid; loving them, supporting them, and being there for them is what they care about. The adoption is for the mom, who gets to collect from you instead of her deadbeat ex if the two of you split up. You will still have a zero percent chance of custody afterward, but with all of the financial responsibilities.

  6. My father married my mother who had 2 kids from a previous marriage. Needless to say, things did not go well. In fact, near the end of my parents marriage, my mom had her daughter (my half sister) file a lawsuit against my father for “abuse”. I wish I was joking but this is not made up.

    Honestly wish my parents never met, even if it meant I wouldn’t exist. The tension of growing up with 2 half siblings who vocally spoke about how much they hated my dad made me extremely confused as a child and as a 30 year old today, I still have a lot of angst about my family dynamic.

  7. *”Men that had relationships with women with a kid(s) that turned out successful.”*

    *”Where are you guys now?”*

    Isn’t that last point kinda obvious?

    If it was successful then they would still be together.

  8. She had a daughter who was 2,5 years old when we met. She is now 6 and calls me daddy. We have a 1,5 year old daughter together and another one coming in the winter 😀 We moved from a big city into a small village to raise our kids and live in peace. She stays home and I work, a very traditional setup that I thought I’d never be in but it all feels very natural. Both of our families are very happy about all of this and so are we. Everything is going well generally, I mean we do bicker and fight but that’s just normal for anyone who cares about one another and has actual human emotions. Kids also always raise the pressure of the relationship, because there’s way more responsibility and way less free time. So you just gotta grow up and leave your individualistic tendencies at the door.

    I just didn’t think too much about it, I just went with the flow. Sometimes you just gotta let life happen. I was tired of women who don’t want to commit and don’t want kids and only want to “have fun” or “focus on their career” without even knowing it – it all changed when I met her. My perspective in life went through a huge shift and all of this was going on through the worst of the covid pandemic so I had a lot of time to think about what I really wanted from life.

    When you have a woman who already has a kid, you know that 1. they’re fertile lol 2. they can actually take care of a kid, so if you want kids yourself it’s actually a positive in my book. You can also get some valuable parenting experience before you get a biological kid of your own.

    If you don’t want kids yourself, it’s a whole another issue. If you only want someone to fuck and have fun with, look elsewhere. You will be a replacement for a father figure – if you don’t want that, don’t do it.

  9. My friend the fact that there is very few responses to this speaks for itself. Don’t get in a relationship with a person that already has kids it’s like playing someone else’s saved game 🤷

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