What’s an instance where a woman made you feel emasculated?

40 comments

  1. When I was 10 a pretty 16 year old girl said she loved my eyelashes. There was not much masculinity to attack at that point fortunately so the sincere and lovely complement did little damage in the long term.

  2. I was 18, it was pretty much my very first time wearing a completely formal attire, the suit, the tie everything, my cousin saw me and commented that I looked like a virgin who tries too hard to look like a stud, she was probably 2 decades older than me, so out of respect, I didn’t say anything to her and just laughed it off, if she was close to my age and if she was male, shit may have escalated, I can tell you that much.

  3. I was always a silent, non-expressive lover, because when in bed with a woman, I have to concentrate on making her feel good, so I just can’t let myself to be fully “in”, otherwise I’ll mess up the rhythm, or finish faster than optimal and so on.

    However, women of Reddit were vocal about how silent lover is boring and a vocal one is sexy. So, with my latest ex I’ve decided to just let go of my restraints.

    As I was being given a handjob, I allowed myself a few gasps. Her reaction was the following:

    “Awww, someone is making noises. How cute”.

    And she said it in not a playful tone, but rather in a kind of degrading one. Can’t say that I felt as a man in that moment, or felt any desire to be vocal again.

  4. When I first started dating my wife. Something fell under the bed, and I had to move it. So then she tells me, “Do you want me to get off the bed to help you?” To which I replied that I was fine. Then she hot me with the headshot. She said her ex had really big arms, so she was used to a man who was physically strong.

    We were 2 dates in, and I was ready to never speak to her again. She made me feel so bad at the time. Though I didn’t let it show. 14 yrs later, she is still wondering why I haven’t worked on my arms, lol.

  5. Sort of.

    Every girl I have dated that wasn’t East Asian, has commented on my relative natural hairlessness (i.e. no back, chest, arm, and barely any leg hair, etc) and how it was lady-like. In both cases just quipped on how I’m a few evolutionary ticks away from the apes than her exes were.

  7. My ex would complain when I would finish. We don’t really have control over it and she would get upset and turned off when I did. She would then bring up that her friend would last for an hour, according to the friend. My ex before her loved it when I finished and never put pressure on me to stay longer. I could go multiple rounds, but my self esteem would be too shattered to continue

  8. I dated a white leftist woman who was *obsessed* with black men on some dated racial stereotype shit (while somehow believing she *opposed* racism, natch). And every time a black guy walked by, no matter what he looked like, she’d stare at him like he was Denzel Washington, to a level that was disrespectful to me as her partner.

    And often the guy would notice her being so thirsty, then look at me and laugh, leaving me with a choice of either knocking him the fuck out and potentially picking up a charge, or having to take the L. So I always took the L and eventually I dumped her because of it. And all her white leftist female friends were exactly the same.

    That was years ago and ironically they’re all now single parents raising bi-racial kids on their own. Apparently they didn’t spend as much time focussing on the negative stereotypes as the positives ones.

    I know racists are always dumb as fuck, but racists who lecture everyone *against* racism are the worst.

  10. I have two:

    I was using navigation to go around the south part of my city as I don’t frequent that area. My date and I were trying to go to a show. She said mid way through: “You need navigation to know where you are going? Most men usually know where they are going.”

    A short lived girlfriend and I years later were coming back from a show downtown in my city. We were going back to the parking garage (there were many next to each other) to go back to my car. In the middle of talking (basically enjoying my time with her) walking one way and then I paused and realized we were walking the wrong way. I said “My mistake, we actually parked the other way”

    She says: “What man doesn’t know where their car is parked?” It was the only occurrence I had done that with her, but felt like it was an indication of things to come. I was right, and broke it off a month later.

  11. Commented on my hairline. I’d gotten bullied for it in middle school and then was left alone in highschool. Never had it mentioned since then. And then she’s just like, DAMN, YO SHIT FUCKED UP. Felt like I got banished to the shadow realm.

  12. Last week when my ex who was supposed to be my friend told me “I wasn’t man enough to support her.” Shit stung like a motherfucker for a hot second, but honestly I’ve been through this with her before. It’s as much my doing as her’s because on some level I allowed this conversation to take place. Now that I’m just a little bit more experienced I know it’s time to simply walk away.

  13. It was very brief before the “fuck that bitch” kicked in, but it was during the school part of my apprenticeship.

    A classmate, a tall girl, was standing out on the corridor with two of my mates and, not quite sure how we got there, stated that “men who aren’t at least 185cm [roughly 6 ft] aren’t real men”. With full conviction, while looking at my bud and I.

    Bud and I are 179 and 181cm respectively. We just looked at each other for a second, you could see a brief glimmer of pain in his eyes and then we both shrugged it off.

  14. I was dating a girl and we were both in our mid 20s. We were talking through expectations for the relationship. She said “I want to go out and do me but always be able to come home to you” I asked her to elaborate and she basically said she wants to sleep with other men but wants me to be the boyfriend that meets her parents, goes to weddings, chill every now and then, etc.

    I’m not proud of this but I stopped taking her serious and started dating other women. I stuck around until she gave it up but I ended up hitting and quitting.

    She did own her own house and she made more money than me. Definitely gave me more motivation to make more money and buy my own house. I wasn’t intimidated by her income I just couldn’t stomach her attempt to effectively cut off my balls and gloat to her friends.

  16. My ex pretty much inferred that if we were to have kids her vagina would stretch out and my penis would no longer be enough and we’d need to “experiment.” I’ve never felt insecure with another ex until her, she’d say a lot of shit that made me feel inadequate.

    Another is when I was practically graped in high school. I was under the influence and didn’t want to but this girl forced herself on me, friends locked us in the car, and I couldn’t get it up. She was visibly disgusted and offended by this and made crude comments, then told everyone we knew that I had a small dick out of spite.

    As a man with an above average penis it’s really clear to me why so many men are insecure, especially those who are average or under. If I’m getting this kind of shit form multiple women I could only imagine what they go through.

  17. My ex would say demeaning things when I couldn’t ‘perform’. We were intimate so infrequently and I was stressed so much, along with working a ton and taking care of our children, sometimes it just wasn’t going to happen. That has never left me, even 18 years after divorce.

  18. My first girlfriend said she was faking it the whole time. Then she fucked all my friends before dumping me.

    That was pretty emasculating. 40 years later and it still affects me with trust issues.

  19. I was a 20 year old college student and had just started talking to this girl (F20) in one of my classes. She suggested that we go on a road trip for a weekend. When I told her that I do not know how to drive or did not own a car, she told me that I was not a “real man” for not knowing how to drive.

    For context – The legal driving age for where I am from is 18. And since my family could never afford a car back then, my parents did not know how to drive either.

  21. I have to say wives are so good at doing that to their husbands, n don’t think twice bout it.

  24. Friends usually used to point out my unibrow. It isnt as thick at the centre but still noticeable. I never realised why they brought it up so much until I realised people absolutely hate unibrows. I cant believe I walked around with it.

  25. Went shopping yesterday, wife insisted on carrying most of the bags, felt myself shrivel.

  26. Any time I suggested anything to my ex-wife and got a sarcastic response like I was an idiot for even suggesting it. I’m a very self-assured person, intelligent and analytical so having my thoughts and ideas blatantly criticized was incredibly frustrating.

  27. Women are always going to try to do this because they’re physically weaker & fight in the psychological.

    For example, when I left my wife for her infidelity, she said she’s afraid that I’ll never get a woman because I’m extraordinarily small down there.

    A year later I came across Calcsd.info and discovered I’m in the 93rd percentile for length and 99th percentile for girth. This actually made me 66% larger than average, not way below average.

    I immediately started treating women’s emasculation attempts with indifference, because I started leaning he alot on reason & rationality. I stopped trying to validate myself to women, that filtered out 90% of the garbage out there & freed up my time to meet someone worth being with.

  28. After I broke up with my sons mother when he was maybe about 2, she collected all the baby pictures we had and scribbled all over anything with me in it and all over the back a number of different things like “small dick” or “can’t last a minute” etc.

    I don’t have any baby pictures of my son because every one had all the incredibly hurtful things.

  30. Women have teased me for my height my entire life. Gotta love being teased about something 100% out of my control.

    I usually get bashed for being too emotional/considerate

  31. Growing up, my dad couldn’t turn a screwdriver. If my mom ever gave him shit about, I never heard it.

    So I never learned about tools or cars or anything like that.

    My first wife’s dad was an electrician and she never let me hear the end of it when I didn’t know how to frame out a room. Every name you can imagine I got called.

    Divorced her.

    And while I won’t run a gas line now…there’s not much I won’t tackle. I learned a lot.

    Current wife still gives me shit from time to time as well…

    So I’ve told my son on plenty of occasions wome will judge you a couple of things…. Salary and tools are the big ones.

    At least he gets the warning. I had no idea.

  33. 10th grade, boys are all arm wrestling and I am just killing them. Then Lisa squares up and crushed me. She was cool about it, made excuses for me, but the fact is, she was freaking STRONG.

  35. I don’t know if it was emasculation or good ole plain humiliation, but:
    Girl, after seeing my penis (which is not the biggest but decent still), told me “it” couldn’t satisfy any women ever. I was forcing myself to this sex anyway, so I just stood up and left

  36. I used to be a middle school teacher and one time during a recess at the end of the day I was asked to climb a ladder to go onto the roof of the school to get a bunch of balls that got on top of the roof. It was a very low roof so kids would kick a ball and easily ping it on the roof by accident. I have a fear of heights and hate climbing ladders. Everyone just expected me to do it and I just couldn’t take the step to go from the edge of the ladder to the roof (you basically had to jump the get up) a female teacher just yells, “Get Down, I got it!!!” She takes off her wedges and in her dress , gets climbs onto the roof and gets all the balls down. Then climbs back down. She then gave me a small stare down after she got off the ladder. A Couple weeks later the same thing with the balls in the roof happened and I made it very clear I was going up.. I did, but the damage had already been done… she made a comment like, “if you get scared, I’ll go up instead!” Lose – Lose for me

  37. Just out of a relationship.
    Felt undervalued and not a priority to her. Had to let go of her saying that I respect my dignity.

    Also her concept of monogamous was consensual-non-monogamous and my idea of monogamous was just monogamous.

    So open dialogue was jack shit basically. Relationship lasted for 11 months and 6 months of exclusivity.

    But definitely learnt a lot from it.
    That no matter what, never ever get into a twisted ENM situation.

    Cheers 🍻

  38. She said she felt I couldn’t protect her, that fucked me up to this day.
    I have always been a de-escalating kind of guy because I don’t do drama and BS due to me trying not to be like my dad.
    Since then, we broke up and it’s caused me to be more aggressive along other things. I have mixed emotions about it.

  39. A girl I liked in my class back in middle school and never talked to before because I was a shy kid said I was extremely ugly and she would never date me if she was dared to in front of the whole class. That really lowered my already bad self esteem.

    She started talking to me years after high-school like nothing happened and for the for the life of me I couldn’t understand why.

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